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Page 12
"Never permit yourself to be ruffled by anything to commence
with," Count Roumovski began gravely, while the pupils of his eyes
appeared to grow larger. "Whatever mood you are in, you connect
yourself with the cosmic current of that mood--you become in
touch, so to speak, with all the other people who are under its
dominion, and so it gains strength because unity is strength. If
you can understand that as a basic principle, you can see that it
is only a question of controlling yourself and directing your
moods with those currents whose augmentation can bring you good.
You must never be negative and drift. You can be drawn in any
adverse way if you do."
"I think I understand," said Stella, greatly interested.
"Then you must use your critical faculties and make selections of
what is best--and you must encourage common sense and distrust
altruism. Sanity is the thing to aim at."
"Yes."
"The view of the world has become so distorted upon almost every
point which started in good, that nothing but a cultivation of our
individual critical faculties can enable us to see the truth--and
nine-tenths of civilized humanity have no real opinion of their
own at all--they simply echo those of others."
"I feel that is true," said Stella, thinking of her own case.
"It is not because a thing is bad or good that it succeeds--merely
how much strength we put into the desire for it," he went on.
"But surely we must believe that good will win over evil," and the
brown eyes looked almost troubled, and his softened as he looked
at her.
"The very fact of believing that would make it come to pass by all
these psychic laws. Whatever we really believe we draw," he said
almost tenderly.
"Then, if I were to believe all the difficulties and uncertainties
would be made straight and just go on calmly, I should be happy,
should I?" she asked, and there was an unconscious pathos in her
voice which touched him deeply.
"Certainly," he answered. "You have not had a fair chance--
probably you have never been allowed to do a single thing of your
own accord--have you?"
"N--no," said Stella.
"In the beginning, were you engaged to this good clergyman of your
own wish?" and his eyes searched her face.
She stiffened immediately, the training of years took offense, and
she answered rather stiffly:
"I do not think you have the right to ask me such a question,
Count Roumovski."
He was entirely unabashed--he stroked his pointed silky beard for
a moment, then he said calmly:
"Yes--I have, you agreed that I should teach you how to shape your
life as you pleased, you must remember. It is rather essential
that I should know the truth of this matter before I can go
further--you must see that."
"We can avoid the subject."
"It would be Hamlet without Hamlet, then," he smiled. "One could
draw up no scheme of rules and exercises, unless one has some idea
of how far the individual was responsible for the present state of
things. If it was your wish in the beginning, or if you were
coerced makes all the difference."
Stella was silent--only she nervously plucked an offending rose
which grew upon a bush beside them: she pulled its petals off and
kept her eyes lowered, and Sasha Roumovski smiled a wise smile.
"You have unconsciously answered me," he said, "and your agitation
proves that not only are you aware that you did not become engaged
of your own wish, but that you are afraid to face the fact and
admit that its aspect appals you. You must remember, in your
country, where, I understand, divorce is not tres bien vu,
especially among the clergy, the affair is for life, and the joy
or the gall of it could be infinite."
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