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Page 9
let us a little consider the secret quiet of their consciences:
how easy is the reflection of having taken a few shillings or
pounds from a stranger, without any breach of confidence, or
perhaps any great harm to the person who loses it, compared to
that of having betrayed a public trust, and ruined the fortunes of
thousands, perhaps of a great nation! How much braver is an attack
on the highway than at a gaming-table; and how much more innocent
the character of a b--dy-house than a c--t pimp!" He was eagerly
proceeding, when, casting his eyes on the count, he perceived him
to be fast asleep; wherefore, having first picked his pocket of
three shillings, then gently jogged him in order to take his
leave, and promised to return to him the next morning to
breakfast, they separated: the count retired to rest, and master
Wild to a night-cellar.
CHAPTER SIX
FURTHER CONFERENCES BETWEEN THE COUNT AND MASTER WILD, WITH OTHER
MATTERS OF THE GREAT KIND.
The count missed his money the next morning, and very well knew
who had it; but, as he knew likewise how fruitless would be any
complaint, he chose to pass it by without mentioning it. Indeed it
may appear strange to some readers that these gentlemen, who knew
each other to be thieves, should never once give the least hint of
this knowledge in all their discourse together, but, on the
contrary, should have the words honesty, honour, and friendship as
often in their mouths as any other men. This, I say, may appear
strange to some; but those who have lived long in cities, courts,
gaols, or such places, will perhaps be able to solve the seeming
absurdity.
When our two friends met the next morning the count (who, though
he did not agree with the whole of his friend's doctrine, was,
however, highly pleased with his argument) began to bewail the
misfortune of his captivity, and the backwardness of friends to
assist each other in their necessities; but what vexed him, he
said, most, was the cruelty of the fair: for he intrusted Wild
with the secret of his having had an intrigue with Miss Theodosia,
the elder of the Miss Snaps, ever since his confinement, though he
could not prevail with her to set him at liberty. Wild answered,
with a smile, "It was no wonder a woman should wish to confine her
lover where she might be sure of having him entirely to herself;"
but added, he believed he could tell him a method of certainly
procuring his escape. The count eagerly besought him to acquaint
him with it. Wild told him bribery was the surest means, and
advised him to apply to the maid. The count thanked him, but
returned, "That he had not a farthing left besides one guinea,
which he had then given her to change." To which Wild said, "He
must make it up with promises, which he supposed he was courtier
enough to know how to put off." The count greatly applauded the
advice, and said he hoped he should be able in time to persuade
him to condescend to be a great man, for which he was so perfectly
well qualified.
This method being concluded on, the two friends sat down to cards,
a circumstance which I should not have mentioned but for the sake
of observing the prodigious force of habit; for though the count
knew if he won ever so much of Mr. Wild he should not receive a
shilling, yet could he not refrain from packing the cards; nor
could Wild keep his hands out of his friend's pockets, though he
knew there was nothing in them.
When the maid came home the count began to put it to her; offered
her all he had, and promised mountains in futuro; but all in vain--
the maid's honesty was impregnable. She said, "She would not
break her trust for the whole world; no, not if she could gain a
hundred pound by it." Upon which Wild stepping up and telling her
"She need not fear losing her place, for it would never be found
out; that they could throw a pair of sheets into the street, by
which it might appear he got out at a window; that he himself
would swear he saw him descending; that the money would be so much
gains in her pocket; that, besides his promises, which she might
depend on being performed, she would receive from him twenty
shillings and ninepence in ready money (for she had only laid out
threepence in plain Spanish); and lastly, that, besides his
honour, the count should leave a pair of gold buttons (which
afterwards turned out to be brass) of great value, in her hands,
as a further pawn."
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