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Page 53
So violent, and indeed so outrageous, was this chaste lady's love
of virtue, that she could not forgive a single slip (indeed the
only one Theodosia had ever made) in her own sister, in a sister
who loved her, and to whom she owed a thousand obligations.
Perhaps the severity of Mr. Snap, who greatly felt the injury done
to the honour of his family, would have relented, had not the
parish-officers been extremely pressing on this occasion, and for
want of security, conveyed the unhappy young lady to a place, the
name of which, for the honour of the Snaps, to whom our hero was
so nearly allied, we bury in eternal oblivion; where she suffered
so much correction for her crime, that the good-natured reader of
the male kind may be inclined to compassionate her, at least to
imagine she was sufficiently punished for a fault which, with
submission to the chaste Laetitia and all other strictly virtuous
ladies, it should be either less criminal in a woman to commit, or
more so in a man to solicit her to it.
But to return to our hero, who was a living and strong instance
that human greatness and happiness are not always inseparable. He
was under a continual alarm of frights, and fears, and jealousies.
He thought every man he beheld wore a knife for his throat, and a
pair of scissars for his purse. As for his own gang particularly,
he was thoroughly convinced there was not a single man amongst
them who would not, for the value of five shillings, bring him to
the gallows. These apprehensions so constantly broke his rest, and
kept him so assiduously on his guard to frustrate and circumvent
any designs which might be formed against him, that his condition,
to any other than the glorious eye of ambition, might seem rather
deplorable than the object of envy or desire.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
IN WHICH OUR HERO MAKES A SPEECH WELL WORTHY TO BE CELEBRATED; AND
THE BEHAVIOUR OF ONE OF THE GANG, PERHAPS MORE UNNATURAL THAN ANY
OTHER PART OF THIS HISTORY.
There was in the gang a man named Blueskin, one of those merchants
who trade in dead oxen, sheep, &c., in short, what the vulgar call
a butcher. This gentleman had two qualities of a great man, viz.,
undaunted courage, and an absolute contempt of those ridiculous
distinctions of meum and tuum, which would cause endless disputes
did not the law happily decide them by converting both into suum.
The common form of exchanging property by trade seemed to him too
tedious; he therefore resolved to quit the mercantile profession,
and, falling acquainted with some of Mr. Wild's people, he
provided himself with arms, and enlisted of the gang; in which he
behaved for some time with great decency and order, and submitted
to accept such share of the booty with the rest as our hero
allotted him.
But this subserviency agreed ill with his temper; for we should
have before remembered a third heroic quality, namely, ambition,
which was no inconsiderable part of his composition. One day,
therefore, having robbed a gentleman at Windsor of a gold watch,
which, on its being advertised in the newspapers, with a
considerable reward, was demanded of him by Wild, he peremptorily
refused to deliver it.
"How, Mr. Blueskin!" says Wild; "you will not deliver the watch?"
"No, Mr. Wild," answered he; "I have taken it, and will keep it;
or, if I dispose of it, I will dispose of it myself, and keep the
money for which I sell it." "Sure," replied Wild, "you have not
the assurance to pretend you have any property or right in this
watch?" "I am certain," returned Blueskin, "whether I have any
right in it or no, you can prove none." "I will undertake," cries
the other, "to shew I have an absolute right to it, and that by
the laws of our gang, of which I am providentially at the head."
"I know not who put you at the head of it," cries Blueskin; "but
those who did certainly did it for their own good, that you might
conduct them the better in their robberies, inform them of the
richest booties, prevent surprizes, pack juries, bribe evidence,
and so contribute to their benefit and safety; and not to convert
all their labour and hazard to your own benefit and advantage."
"You are greatly mistaken, sir," answered Wild; "you are talking
of a legal society, where the chief magistrate is always chosen
for the public good, which, as we see in all the legal societies
of the world, he constantly consults, daily contributing, by his
superior skill, to their prosperity, and not sacrificing their
good to his own wealth, or pleasure, or humour: but in an illegal
society or gang, as this of ours, it is otherwise; for who would
be at the head of a gang, unless for his own interest? And without
a head, you know, you cannot subsist. Nothing but a head, and
obedience to that head, can preserve a gang a moment from
destruction. It is absolutely better for you to content yourselves
with a moderate reward, and enjoy that in safety at the disposal
of your chief, than to engross the whole with the hazard to which
you will be liable without his protection. And surely there is
none in the whole gang who hath less reason to complain than you;
you have tasted of my favours: witness that piece of ribbon you
wear in your hat, with which I dubbed you captain. Therefore pray,
captain, deliver the watch." "D--n your cajoling," says Blueskin:
"do you think I value myself on this bit of ribbon, which I could
have bought myself for sixpence, and have worn without your leave?
Do you imagine I think myself a captain because you, whom I know
not empowered to make one, call me so? The name of captain is but
a shadow: the men and the salary are the substance; and I am not
to be bubbled with a shadow. I will be called captain no longer,
and he who flatters me by that name I shall think affronts me, and
I will knock him down, I assure you." "Did ever man talk so
unreasonably?" cries Wild. "Are you not respected as a captain by
the whole gang since my dubbing you so? But it is the shadow only,
it seems; and you will knock a man down for affronting you who
calls you captain! Might not a man as reasonably tell a minister
of state, Sir, you have given me the shadow only? The ribbon or
the bauble that you gave me implies that I have either signalised
myself, by some great action, for the benefit and glory of my
country, or at least that I am descended from those who have done
so. I know myself to be a scoundrel, and so have been those few
ancestors I can remember, or have ever heard of. Therefore, I am
resolved to knock the first man down who calls me sir or right
honourable. But all great and wise men think themselves
sufficiently repaid by what procures them honour and precedence in
the gang, without enquiring into substance; nay, if a title or a
feather be equal to this purpose, they are substance, and not mere
shadows. But I have not time to argue with you at present, so give
me the watch without any more deliberation." "I am no more a
friend to deliberation than yourself," answered Blueskin, "and so
I tell you, once for all, by G--I never will give you the watch,
no, nor will I ever hereafter surrender any part of my booty. I
won it, and I will wear it. Take your pistols yourself, and go out
on the highway, and don't lazily think to fatten yourself with the
dangers and pains of other people." At which words he departed in
a fierce mood, and repaired to the tavern used by the gang, where
he had appointed to meet some of his acquaintance, whom he
informed of what had passed between him and Wild, and advised them
all to follow his example; which they all readily agreed to, and
Mr. Wild's d--tion was the universal toast; in drinking bumpers to
which they had finished a large bowl of punch, when a constable,
with a numerous attendance, and Wild at their head, entered the
room and seized on Blueskin, whom his companions, when they saw
our hero, did not dare attempt to rescue. The watch was found upon
him, which, together with Wild's information, was more than
sufficient to commit him to Newgate.
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