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Page 44
CHAPTER SEVEN
MATTERS PRELIMINARY TO THE MARRIAGE BETWEEN MR. JONATHAN WILD AND
THE CHASTE LAETITIA.
But to proceed with our history; Fireblood, having received this
letter, and promised on his honour, with many voluntary
asseverations, to discharge his embassy faithfully, went to visit
the fair Laetitia. The lady, having opened the letter and read it,
put on an air of disdain, and told Mr. Fireblood she could not
conceive what Mr. Wild meant by troubling her with his
impertinence; she begged him to carry the letter back again,
saying, had she known from whom it came, she would have been d--d
before she had opened it. "But with you, young gentleman," says
she, "I am not in the least angry. I am rather sorry that so
pretty a young man should be employed in such an errand." She
accompanied these words with so tender an accent and so wanton a
leer, that Fireblood, who was no backward youth, began to take her
by the hand, and proceeded so warmly, that, to imitate his actions
with the rapidity of our narration, he in a few minutes ravished
this fair creature, or at least would have ravished her, if she
had not, by a timely compliance, prevented him.
Fireblood, after he had ravished as much as he could, returned to
Wild, and acquainted him as far as any wise man would, with what
had passed; concluding with many praises of the young lady's
beauty, with whom, he said, if his honour would have permitted
him, he should himself have fallen in love; but, d--n him if he
would not sooner be torn to pieces by wild horses than even think
of injuring his friend. He asserted indeed, and swore so heartily,
that, had not Wild been so thoroughly convinced of the impregnable
chastity of the lady, he might have suspected his success;
however, he was, by these means, entirely satisfied of his
friend's inclination towards his mistress.
Thus constituted were the love affairs of our hero, when his
father brought him Mr. Snap's proposal. The reader must know very
little of love, or indeed of anything else, if he requires any
information concerning the reception which this proposal met with.
Not guilty never sounded sweeter in the ears of a prisoner at the
bar, nor the sound of a reprieve to one at the gallows, than did
every word of the old gentleman in the ears of our hero. He gave
his father full power to treat in his name, and desired nothing
more than expedition.
The old people now met, and Snap, who had information from his
daughter of the violent passion of her lover, endeavoured to
improve it to the best advantage, and would have not only declined
giving her any fortune himself, but have attempted to cheat her of
what she owed to the liberality of her relations, particularly of
a pint silver caudle-cup, the gift of her grandmother. However, in
this the young lady herself afterwards took care to prevent him.
As to the old Mr. Wild, he did not sufficiently attend to all the
designs of Snap, as his faculties were busily employed in designs
of his own, to overreach (or, as others express it, to cheat) the
said Mr. Snap, by pretending to give his son a whole number for a
chair, when in reality he was intitled to a third only.
While matters were thus settling between the old folks the young
lady agreed to admit Mr. Wild's visits, and, by degrees, began to
entertain him with all the shew of affection which the great
natural reserve of her temper, and the greater artificial reserve
of her education, would permit. At length, everything being agreed
between their parents, settlements made, and the lady's fortune
(to wit, seventeen pounds and nine shillings in money and goods)
paid down, the day for their nuptials was fixed, and they were
celebrated accordingly.
Most private histories, as well as comedies, end at this period;
the historian and the poet both concluding they have done enough
for their hero when they have married him; or intimating rather
that the rest of his life must be a dull calm of happiness, very
delightful indeed to pass through, but somewhat insipid to relate;
and matrimony in general must, I believe, without any dispute, be
allowed to be this state of tranquil felicity, including so little
variety, that, like Salisbury Plain, it affords only one prospect,
a very pleasant one it must be confessed, but the same.
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