|
Main
- books.jibble.org
My Books
- IRC Hacks
Misc. Articles
- Meaning of Jibble
- M4 Su Doku
- Computer Scrapbooking
- Setting up Java
- Bootable Java
- Cookies in Java
- Dynamic Graphs
- Social Shakespeare
External Links
- Paul Mutton
- Jibble Photo Gallery
- Jibble Forums
- Google Landmarks
- Jibble Shop
- Free Books
- Intershot Ltd
|
books.jibble.org
Previous Page
| Next Page
Page 16
They were now informed that dinner was ready, and the company
assembled below stairs, whither the reader may, if he please,
attend these gentlemen.
There sat down at the table Mr. Snap, and the two Miss Snaps his
daughters, Mr. Wild the elder, Mr. Wild the younger, the count,
Mr. Bagshot, and a grave gentleman who had formerly had the honour
of carrying arms in a regiment of foot, and who was now engaged in
the office (perhaps a more profitable one) of assisting or
following Mr. Snap in the execution of the laws of his country.
Nothing very remarkable passed at dinner. The conversation (as is
usual in polite company) rolled chiefly on what they were then
eating and what they had lately eaten. In this the military
gentleman, who had served in Ireland, gave them a very particular
account of a new manner of roasting potatoes, and others gave an
account of other dishes. In short, an indifferent by-stander would
have concluded from their discourse that they had all come into
this world for no other purpose than to fill their bellies; and
indeed, if this was not the chief, it is probable it was the most
innocent design Nature had in their formation.
As soon as THE DISH was removed, and the ladies retired, the count
proposed a game at hazard, which was immediately assented to by
the whole company, and, the dice being immediately brought in, the
count took up the box and demanded who would set him: to which no
one made any answer, imagining perhaps the count's pockets to be
more empty than they were; for, in reality, that gentleman
(notwithstanding what he had heartily swore to Mr. Wild) had,
since his arrival at Mr. Snap's, conveyed a piece of plate to
pawn, by which means he had furnished himself with ten guineas.
The count, therefore, perceiving this backwardness in his friends,
and probably somewhat guessing at the cause of it, took the said
guineas out of his pocket, and threw them on the table; when lo,
(such is the force of example) all the rest began to produce their
funds, and immediately, a considerable sum glittering in their
eyes, the game began.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
A CHAPTER OF WHICH WE ARE EXTREMELY VAIN, AND WHICH INDEED WE LOOK
ON AS OUR CHEF-D'OEUVRE; CONTAINING A WONDERFUL STORY CONCERNING
THE DEVIL, AND AS NICE A SCENE OF HONOUR AS EVER HAPPENED.
My reader, I believe, even if he be a gamester, would not thank me
for an exact relation of every man's success; let it suffice then
that they played till the whole money vanished from the table.
Whether the devil himself carried it away, as some suspected, I
will not determine; but very surprising it was that every person
protested he had lost, nor could any one guess who, unless THE
DEVIL, had won.
But though very probable it is that this arch fiend had some share
in the booty, it is likely he had not all; Mr. Bagshot being
imagined to be a considerable winner, notwithstanding his
assertions to the contrary; for he was seen by several to convey
money often into his pocket; and what is still a little stronger
presumption is, that the grave gentleman whom we have mentioned to
have served his country in two honourable capacities, not being
willing to trust alone to the evidence of his eyes, had frequently
dived into the said Bagshot's pocket, whence (as he tells us in
the apology for his life afterwards published [Footnote: Not in a
book by itself, in imitation of some other such persons, but in
the ordinary's account, &c., where all the apologies for the lives
of rogues and whores which have been published within these twenty
years should have been inserted.]), though he might extract a few
pieces, he was very sensible he had left many behind. The
gentleman had long indulged his curiosity in this way before Mr.
Bagshot, in the heat of gaming, had perceived him; but, as Bagshot
was now leaving off play, he discovered this ingenious feat of
dexterity; upon which, leaping up from his chair in violent
passion, he cried out, "I thought I had been among gentlemen and
men of honour, but, d--n me, I find we have a pickpocket in
company." The scandalous sound of this word extremely alarmed the
whole board, nor did they all shew less surprise than the CONV--N
(whose not sitting of late is much lamented) would express at
hearing there was an atheist in the room; but it more particularly
affected the gentleman at whom it was levelled, though it was not
addressed to him. He likewise started from his chair, and, with a
fierce countenance and accent, said, "Do you mean me? D--n your
eyes, you are a rascal and a scoundrel!" Those words would have
been immediately succeeded by blows had not the company
interposed, and with strong arm withheld the two antagonists from
each other. It was, however, a long time before they could be
prevailed on to sit down; which being at last happily brought
about, Mr. Wild the elder, who was a well-disposed old man,
advised them to shake hands and be friends; but the gentleman who
had received the first affront absolutely refused it, and swore HE
WOULD HAVE THE VILLAIN'S BLOOD. Mr. Snap highly applauded the
resolution, and affirmed that the affront was by no means to be
put up by any who bore the name of a gentleman, and that unless
his friend resented it properly he would never execute another
warrant in his company; that he had always looked upon him as a
man of honour, and doubted not but he would prove himself so; and
that, if it was his own case, nothing should persuade him to put
up such an affront without proper satisfaction. The count likewise
spoke on the same side, and the parties themselves muttered
several short sentences purporting their intentions. At last Mr.
Wild, our hero, rising slowly from his seat, and having fixed the
attention of all present, began as follows: "I have heard with
infinite pleasure everything which the two gentlemen who spoke
last have said with relation to honour, nor can any man possibly
entertain a higher and nobler sense of that word, nor a greater
esteem of its inestimable value, than myself. If we have no name
to express it by in our Cant Dictionary, it were well to be wished
we had. It is indeed the essential quality of a gentleman, and
which no man who ever was great in the field or on the road (as
others express it) can possibly be without. But alas! gentlemen,
what pity is it that a word of such sovereign use and virtue
should have so uncertain and various an application that scarce
two people mean the same thing by it? Do not some by honour mean
good-nature and humanity, which weak minds call virtues? How then!
Must we deny it to the great, the brave, the noble; to the sackers
of towns, the plunderers of provinces, and the conquerors of
kingdoms! Were not these men of honour? and yet they scorn those
pitiful qualities I have mentioned. Again, some few (or I am
mistaken) include the idea of honesty in their honour. And shall
we then say that no man who withholds from another what law, or
justice perhaps, calls his own, or who greatly and boldly deprives
him of such property, is a man of honour? Heaven forbid I should
say so in this, or, indeed, in any other good company! Is honour
truth? No; it is not in the lie's going from us, but in its coming
to us, our honour is injured. Doth it then consist in what the
vulgar call cardinal virtues? It would be an affront to your
understandings to suppose it, since we see every day so many men
of honour without any. In what then doth the word honour consist?
Why, in itself alone. A man of honour is he that is called a man
of honour; and while he is so called he so remains, and no longer.
Think not anything a man commits can forfeit his honour. Look
abroad into the world; the PRIG, while he flourishes, is a man of
honour; when in gaol, at the bar, or the tree, he is so no longer.
And why is this distinction? Not from his actions; for those are
often as well known in his flourishing estate as they are
afterwards; but because men, I mean those of his own party or
gang, call him a man of honour in the former, and cease to call
him so in the latter condition. Let us see then; how hath Mr.
Bagshot injured the gentleman's honour? Why, he hath called him a
pick-pocket; and that, probably, by a severe construction and a
long roundabout way of reasoning, may seem a little to derogate
from his honour, if considered in a very nice sense. Admitting it,
therefore, for argument's sake, to be some small imputation on his
honour, let Mr. Bagshot give him satisfaction; let him doubly and
triply repair this oblique injury by directly asserting that he
believes he is a man of honour." The gentleman answered he was
content to refer it to Mr. Wild, and whatever satisfaction he
thought sufficient he would accept. "Let him give me my money
again first," said Bagshot, "and then I will call him a man of
honour with all my heart." The gentleman then protested he had not
any, which Snap seconded, declaring he had his eyes on him all the
while; but Bagshot remained still unsatisfied, till Wild, rapping
out a hearty oath, swore he had not taken a single farthing,
adding that whoever asserted the contrary gave him the lie, and he
would resent it. And now, such was the ascendancy of this great
man, that Bagshot immediately acquiesced, and performed the
ceremonies required: and thus, by the exquisite address of our
hero, this quarrel, which had so fatal an aspect, and which
Previous Page
| Next Page
|
|