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Page 12
CHAPTER NINE
WILD PAYS A VISIT TO MISS LETITIA SNAP. A DESCRIPTION OF THAT
LOVELY YOUNG CREATURE, AND THE SUCCESSLESS ISSUE OF MR. WILD'S
ADDRESSES.
The next morning when our hero waked he began to think of paying a
visit to Miss Tishy Snap, a woman of great merit and of as great
generosity; yet Mr. Wild found a present was ever most welcome to
her, as being a token of respect in her lover. He therefore went
directly to a toy-shop, and there purchased a genteel snuff-box,
with which he waited upon his mistress, whom he found in the most
beautiful undress. Her lovely hair hung wantonly over her
forehead, being neither white with, nor yet free from, powder; a
neat double clout, which seemed to have been worn a few weeks
only, was pinned under her chin; some remains of that art with
which ladies improve nature shone on her cheeks; her body was
loosely attired, without stays or jumps, so that her breasts had
uncontrolled liberty to display their beauteous orbs, which they
did as low as her girdle; a thin covering of a rumpled muslin
handkerchief almost hid them from the eyes, save in a few parts,
where a good-natured hole gave opportunity to the naked breast to
appear. Her gown was a satin of a whitish colour, with about a
dozen little silver spots upon it, so artificially interwoven at
great distance, that they looked as if they had fallen there by
chance. This, flying open, discovered a fine yellow petticoat,
beautifully edged round the bottom with a narrow piece of half
gold lace which was now almost become fringe: beneath this
appeared another petticoat stiffened with whalebone, vulgarly
called a hoop, which hung six inches at least below the other; and
under this again appeared an under-garment of that colour which
Ovid intends when he says,
----Qui color albus erat nunc est contrarius albo.
She likewise displayed two pretty feet covered with silk and
adorned with lace, and tied, the right with a handsome piece of
blue ribbon; the left, as more unworthy, with a piece of yellow
stuff, which seemed to have been a strip of her upper petticoat.
Such was the lovely creature whom Mr. Wild attended. She received
him at first with some of that coldness which women of strict
virtue, by a commendable though sometimes painful restraint,
enjoin themselves to their lovers. The snuff-box, being produced,
was at first civilly, and indeed gently, refused; but on a second
application accepted. The tea-table was soon called for, at which
a discourse passed between these young lovers, which, could we set
it down with any accuracy, would be very edifying as well as
entertaining to our reader; let it suffice then that the wit,
together with, the beauty, of this young creature, so inflamed the
passion of Wild, which, though an honourable sort of a passion,
was at the same time so extremely violent, that it transported him
to freedoms too offensive to the nice chastity of Laetitia, who
was, to confess the truth, more indebted to her own strength for
the preservation of her virtue than to the awful respect or
backwardness of her lover; he was indeed so very urgent in his
addresses, that, had he not with many oaths promised her marriage,
we could scarce have been strictly justified in calling his
passion honourable; but he was so remarkably attached to decency,
that he never offered any violence to a young lady without the
most earnest promises of that kind, these being, he said, a
ceremonial due to female modesty, which cost so little, and were
so easily pronounced, that the omission could arise from nothing
but the mere wantonness of brutality. The lovely Laetitia, either
out of prudence, or perhaps religion, of which she was a liberal
professor, was deaf to all his promises, and luckily invincible by
his force; for, though she had not yet learnt the art of well
clenching her fist, nature had not however left her defenceless,
for at the ends of her fingers she wore arms, which she used with
such admirable dexterity, that the hot blood of Mr. Wild soon
began to appear in several little spots on his face, and his full-
blown cheeks to resemble that part which modesty forbids a boy to
turn up anywhere but in a public school, after some pedagogue,
strong of arm, hath exercised his talents thereon. Wild now
retreated from the conflict, and the victorious Laetitia, with
becoming triumph and noble spirit, cried out, "D--n your eyes, if
this be your way of shewing your love, I'll warrant I gives you
enough on't." She then proceeded to talk of her virtue, which Wild
bid her carry to the devil with her, and thus our lovers parted.
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