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Page 37
I handed him the money. He said "Merci," and, crumpling the bank-bill,
thrust it into his trousers pocket.
"Now I suppose the game is in full swing at the adjutant's," he began
immediately after this.
"Yes, I suppose so."
"He's a wonderful player, always bold, and never backs out. When he's in
luck, it's fine; but when it does not go well with him, he can lose
frightfully. He has given proof of that. During this expedition, if you
reckon his valuables, he has lost more than fifteen hundred rubles. But,
as he played discreetly before, that officer of yours seemed to have
some doubts about his honor."
"Well, that's because he . . . Nikita, haven't we any of that red Kavkas
wine [Footnote: Chikir] left?" I asked, very much enlivened by Guskof's
conversational talent. Nikita still kept muttering; but he brought us
the red wine, and again looked on angrily as Guskof drained his glass.
In Guskof's behavior was noticeable his old freedom from constraint. I
wished that he would go as soon as possible; it seemed as if his only
reason for not going was because he did not wish to go immediately after
receiving the money. I said nothing.
"How could you, who have means, and were under no necessity, simply de
gaiete de coeur, make up your mind to come and serve in the Caucasus?
That's what I don't understand," said he to me.
I endeavored to explain this act of renunciation, which seemed so
strange to him.
"I can imagine how disagreeable the society of those officers--men
without any comprehension of culture--must be for you. You could not
understand each other. You see, you might live ten years, and not see
anything, and not hear about anything, except cards, wine, and gossip
about rewards and campaigns."
It was unpleasant for me, that he wished me to put myself on a par with
him in his position; and, with absolute honesty, I assured him that I
was very fond of cards and wine, and gossip about campaigns, and that I
did not care to have any better comrades than those with whom I was
associated. But he would not believe me.
"Well, you may say so," he continued; "but the lack of women's society,--
I mean, of course, FEMMES COMME IL FAUT,--is that not a terrible
deprivation? I don't know what I would give now to go into a parlor, if
only for a moment, and to have a look at a pretty woman, even though it
were through a crack."
He said nothing for a little, and drank still another glass of the red
wine.
"Oh, my God, my God! [Footnote: AKH, BOZHE MOI, BOZHE MOI.] If it only
might be our fate to meet again, somewhere in Petersburg, to live and
move among men, among ladies!"
He drank up the dregs of the wine still left in the bottle, and when he
had finished it he said: "AKH! PARDON, maybe you wanted some more. It
was horribly careless of me. However, I suppose I must have taken too
much, and my head isn't very strong. [Footnote: ET JE N'AI PAS LA TETE
FORTE.] There was a time when I lived on Morskaia Street, AU REZ-DE-
CHAUSSEE, and had marvellous apartments, furniture, you know, and I was
able to arrange it all beautifully, not so very expensively though; my
father, to be sure, gave me porcelains, flowers, and silver--a wonderful
lot. Le matin je sortais, visits, 5 heures regulierement. I used to go
and dine with her; often she was alone. Il faut avouer que c'etait une
femme ravissante! You didn't know her at all, did you?"
"No."
"You see, there was such high degree of womanliness in her, and such
tenderness, and what love! Lord! I did not know how to appreciate my
happiness then. We would return after the theatre, and have a little
supper together. It was never dull where she was, toujours gaie,
toujours aimante. Yes, and I had never imagined what rare happiness it
was. Et j'ai beaucoup a me reprocher in regard to her. Je l'ai fait
souffrir et souvent. I was outrageous. AKH! What a marvellous time that
was! Do I bore you?"
"No, not at all."
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