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Page 16
III
No-one dared to remove the apple lodged in Gregor's flesh,
so it remained there as a visible reminder of his injury.
He had suffered it there for more than a month, and his
condition seemed serious enough to remind even his father
that Gregor, despite his current sad and revolting form, was
a family member who could not be treated as an enemy. On
the contrary, as a family there was a duty to swallow any
revulsion for him and to be patient, just to be patient.
Because of his injuries, Gregor had lost much of his
mobility - probably permanently. He had been reduced to the
condition of an ancient invalid and it took him long, long
minutes to crawl across his room - crawling over the ceiling
was out of the question - but this deterioration in his
condition was fully (in his opinion) made up for by the door
to the living room being left open every evening. He got
into the habit of closely watching it for one or two hours
before it was opened and then, lying in the darkness of his
room where he could not be seen from the living room, he
could watch the family in the light of the dinner table and
listen to their conversation - with everyone's permission,
in a way, and thus quite differently from before.
They no longer held the lively conversations of earlier
times, of course, the ones that Gregor always thought about
with longing when he was tired and getting into the damp bed
in some small hotel room. All of them were usually very
quiet nowadays. Soon after dinner, his father would go to
sleep in his chair; his mother and sister would urge each
other to be quiet; his mother, bent deeply under the lamp,
would sew fancy underwear for a fashion shop; his sister,
who had taken a sales job, learned shorthand and French in
the evenings so that she might be able to get a better
position later on. Sometimes his father would wake up and
say to Gregor's mother "you're doing so much sewing again
today!", as if he did not know that he had been dozing - and
then he would go back to sleep again while mother and sister
would exchange a tired grin. With a kind of stubbornness,
Gregor's father refused to take his uniform off even at
home; while his nightgown hung unused on its peg Gregor's
father would slumber where he was, fully dressed, as if
always ready to serve and expecting to hear the voice of his
superior even here. The uniform had not been new to start
with, but as a result of this it slowly became even shabbier
despite the efforts of Gregor's mother and sister to look
after it. Gregor would often spend the whole evening
looking at all the stains on this coat, with its gold
buttons always kept polished and shiny, while the old man in
it would sleep, highly uncomfortable but peaceful.
As soon as it struck ten, Gregor's mother would speak gently
to his father to wake him and try to persuade him to go to
bed, as he couldn't sleep properly where he was and he
really had to get his sleep if he was to be up at six to get
to work. But since he had been in work he had become more
obstinate and would always insist on staying longer at the
table, even though he regularly fell asleep and it was then
harder than ever to persuade him to exchange the chair for
his bed. Then, however much mother and sister would
importune him with little reproaches and warnings he would
keep slowly shaking his head for a quarter of an hour with
his eyes closed and refusing to get up. Gregor's mother
would tug at his sleeve, whisper endearments into his ear,
Gregor's sister would leave her work to help her mother, but
nothing would have any effect on him. He would just sink
deeper into his chair. Only when the two women took him
under the arms he would abruptly open his eyes, look at them
one after the other and say: "What a life! This is what
peace I get in my old age!" And supported by the two women
he would lift himself up carefully as if he were carrying
the greatest load himself, let the women take him to the
door, send them off and carry on by himself while Gregor's
mother would throw down her needle and his sister her pen so
that they could run after his father and continue being of
help to him.
Who, in this tired and overworked family, would have had
time to give more attention to Gregor than was absolutely
necessary? The household budget became even smaller; so now
the maid was dismissed; an enormous, thick-boned charwoman
with white hair that flapped around her head came every
morning and evening to do the heaviest work; everything else
was looked after by Gregor's mother on top of the large
amount of sewing work she did. Gregor even learned,
listening to the evening conversation about what price they
had hoped for, that several items of jewellery belonging to
the family had been sold, even though both mother and
sister had been very fond of wearing them at functions and
celebrations. But the loudest complaint was that although
the flat was much too big for their present circumstances,
they could not move out of it, there was no imaginable way
of transferring Gregor to the new address. He could see
quite well, though, that there were more reasons than
consideration for him that made it difficult for them to
move, it would have been quite easy to transport him in any
suitable crate with a few air holes in it; the main thing
holding the family back from their decision to move was much
more to do with their total despair, and the thought that
they had been struck with a misfortune unlike anything
experienced by anyone else they knew or were related to.
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