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Page 81
Bertram D. Snooper held a Statesman in his hand.
"Aha!" he said, "I thought I would surprise you. I just got in this
morning. Here is a paper noticing my arrival."
He handed it to Henry R. Grasty.
Mr. Grasty looked at the paper and turned deadly pale. It was dated
three weeks after Mr. Snooper's arrival.
"Foiled again!" he hissed.
"Speak, Bertram D. Snooper," said Gladys, "why have you come between me
and Henry?"
"I have just discovered that I am the sole heir to Tom Bean's estate and
am worth two million dollars."
With a glad cry Gladys threw herself in Bertram's arms.
Henry R. Grasty drew from his breast pocket a large tin box and opened
it, took therefrom 467 pages of closely written foolscap.
"What you say is true, Mr. Snooper, but I ask you to read that," he
said, handing it to Bertram Snooper.
Mr. Snooper had no sooner read the document than he uttered a piercing
shriek and bit off a large chew of tobacco.
"All is lost," he said.
"What is that document?" asked Gladys. "Governor Hogg's message?"
"It is not as bad as that," said Bertram, "but it deprives me of my
entire fortune. But I care not for that, Gladys, since I have won you."
"What is it? Speak, I implore you," said Gladys.
"Those papers," said Henry R. Grasty, "are the proofs of my appointment
as administrator of the Tom Bean estate."
With a loving cry Gladys threw herself in Henry R. Grasty's arms.
* * * *
Twenty minutes later Bertram D. Snooper was seen
deliberately to enter a beer saloon on Seventeenth Street.
AN APOLOGY
[This appeared in The Rolling Stone shortly before it
"suspended publication" never to resume.]
The person who sweeps the office, translates letters from foreign
countries, deciphers communications from graduates of business colleges,
and does most of the writing for this paper, has been confined for the
past two weeks to the under side of a large red quilt, with a joint
caucus of la grippe and measles.
We have missed two issues of The Rolling Stone, and are now slightly
convalescent, for which we desire to apologize and express our regrets.
Everybody's term of subscription will be extended enough to cover all
missed issues, and we hope soon to report that the goose remains
suspended at a favorable altitude. People who have tried to run a funny
paper and entertain a congregation of large piebald measles at the same
time will understand something of the tact, finesse, and hot sassafras
tea required to do so. We expect to get out the paper regularly from
this time on, but are forced to be very careful, as improper treatment
and deleterious after-effects of measles, combined with the high price
of paper and presswork, have been known to cause a relapse. Any one not
getting their paper regularly will please come down and see about it,
bringing with them a ham or any little delicacy relished by invalids.
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