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Page 38
The First Consul, my dear Bourrienne, has just ordered me to send
him this evening the keys of your residence in Paris, from which the
furniture is not to be removed.
He also directs me to put into a warehouse whatever furniture you
may have at Ruel or elsewhere which you have obtained from
Government.
I beg of you to send me an answer, so as to assist me in the
execution of these orders. You promised me to have everything
settled before the First Consul's return. I must excuse myself in
the best way I can.
(Signed) DUROC.
24 Brumaire, an X.
(15th November 1802.)
Believing myself to be master of my own actions, I had formed the design
of visiting England, whither I was called by some private business.
However, I was fully aware of the peculiarity of my situation, and I was
resolved to take no step that should in any way justify a reproach.
On the 11th of January I therefore wrote to Duroc:
My affairs require my presence in England for some time. I beg of
you, my dear Duroc, to mention my intended journey to the First
Consul, as I do not wish to do anything inconsistent with his views.
I would rather sacrifice my own interest than displease him. I rely
on your friendship for an early answer to this, for uncertainty
would be fatal to me in many respects.
The answer, which speedily arrived, was as follows:--
MY DEAR BOURRIENNE--I have presented to the First Consul the letter
I just received from you. He read it, and said, "No!"
That is the only answer I can give you. (Signed) DUROC.
This monosyllable was expressive. It proved to me that Bonaparte was
conscious how ill he had treated me; and, suspecting that I was actuated
by the desire of vengeance, he was afraid of my going to England, lest I
should there take advantage of that liberty of the press which he had so
effectually put down in France. He probably imagined that my object was
to publish statements which would more effectually have enlightened the
public respecting his government and designs than all the scandalous
anecdotes, atrocious calumnies, and ridiculous fabrications of Pelletier,
the editor of the 'Ambigu'. But Bonaparte was much deceived in this
supposition; and if there can remain any doubt on that subject, it will
be removed on referring to the date of these Memoirs, and observing the
time at which I consented to publish them.
I was not deceived as to the reasons of Bonaparte's unceremonious refusal
of my application; and as I well knew his inquisitorial character,
I thought it prudent to conceal my notes. I acted differently from
Camoens. He contended with the sea to preserve his manuscripts; I made
the earth the depository of mine. I carefully enclosed my most valuable
notes and papers in a tin box, which I buried under ground. A yellow
tinge, the commencement of decay, has in some places almost obliterated
the writing.
It will be seen in the sequel that my precaution was not useless, and
that I was right in anticipating the persecution of Bonaparte, provoked
by the malice of my enemies. On the 20th of April Duroc sent me the
following note:
I beg, my dear Bourrienne, that you will come to St. Cloud this
morning. I have something to tell you on the part of the First
Consul.
(Signed) DUROC.
This note caused me much anxiety. I could not doubt but that my enemies
had invented some new calumny; but I must say that I did not expect such
baseness as I experienced.
As soon as Duroc had made me acquainted with the business which the First
Consul had directed him to communicate, I wrote on the spot the subjoined
letter to Bonaparte:
At General Duroc's desire I have this moment waited upon him, and he
informs me that you have received notice that a deficit of 100,000
francs has been discovered in the Treasury of the Navy, which you
require me to refund this day at noon.
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