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Page 11
Whilst these serious questions agitated men's minds the greater part of
the residents at Malmaison took a trip to Plombieres. Josephine,
Bonaparte's mother, Madame Beauharnais-Lavallette, Hortense, and General
Rapp, were of this party. It pleased the fancy of the jocund company to
address to me a bulletin of the pleasant and unpleasant occurrences of
the journey. I insert this letter merely as a proof of the intimacy
which existed between the writers and myself. It follows, precisely as I
have preserved it, with the exception of the blots, for which it will be
seen they apologised.
AN ACCOUNT OF THE JOURNEY TO PLOMBIERES.
To the Inhabitants of Malmaison.
The whole party left Malmaison in tears, which brought on such dreadful
headaches that all the amiable persons were quite overcome by the idea of
the journey. Madame Bonaparte, mere, supported the fatigues of this
memorable day with the greatest courage; but Madame Bonaparte,
Consulesse, did not show any. The two young ladies who sat in the
dormouse, Mademoiselle Hortense and Madame Lavallette, were rival
candidates for a bottle of Eau de Cologne; and every now and then the
amiable M. Rapp made the carriage stop for the comfort of his poor little
sick heart, which overflowed with bile: in fine, he was obliged to take
to bed on arriving at Epernay, while the rest of the amiable party tried
to drown their sorrows in champagne. The second day was more fortunate
on the score of health and spirits, but provisions were wanting, and
great were the sufferings of the stomach. The travellers lived on the
hope of a good supper at Toul; but despair was at its height when,
on arriving there, they found only a wretched inn, and nothing in it.
We saw some odd-looking folks there, which indemnified us a little for
spinach dressed in lamp-oil, and red asparagus fried with curdled milk.
Who would not have been amused to see the Malmaison gourmands seated at a
table so shockingly served!
In no record of history is there to be found a day passed in distress so
dreadful as that on which we arrived at Plombieres. On departing from
Toul we intended to breakfast at Nancy, for every stomach had been empty
for two days; but the civil and military authorities came out to meet us,
and prevented us from executing our plan. We continued our route,
wasting away, so that you might, see us growing thinner every moment.
To complete our misfortune, the dormouse, which seemed to have taken a
fancy to embark on the Moselle for Metz, barely escaped an overturn.
But at Plombieres we have been well compensated for this unlucky journey,
for on our arrival we were received with all kinds of rejoicings. The
town was illuminated, the cannon fired, and the faces of handsome women
at all the windows give us reason to hope that we shall bear our absence
from Malmaison with the less regret.
With the exception of some anecdotes, which we reserve for chit-chat on
our return, you have here a correct account of our journey, which we, the
undersigned, hereby certify.
JOSEPHINE BONAPARTE.
BEAUHARNAIS-LAPALLETTE.
HORTENSE BEAUHARNAIS.
RAPP.
BONAPARTE, mere.
The company ask pardon for the blots.
21st Messidor.
It is requested that the person who receives this journal will show it to
all who take an interest in the fair travellers.
This journey to Plombieres was preceded by a scene which I should abstain
from describing if I had not undertaken to relate the truth respecting
the family of the First Consul. Two or three days before her departure
Madame Bonaparte sent for me. I obeyed the summons, and found her in
tears. "What a man-what a man is that Lucien!" she exclaimed in accents
of grief. "If you knew, my friend, the shameful proposals he has dared
to make to me! 'You are going to the waters,' said he; 'you must get a
child by some other person since you cannot have one by him.' Imagine
the indignation with which I received such advice. 'Well,' he continued,
'if you do not wish it, or cannot help it, Bonaparte must get a child by
another woman, and you must adopt it, for it is necessary to secure an
hereditary successor. It is for your interest; you must know that.'--
'What, sir!' I replied, 'do you imagine the nation will suffer a bastard
to govern it? Lucien! Lucien! you would ruin your brother! This is
dreadful! Wretched should I be, were any one to suppose me capable of
listening, without horror, to your infamous proposal! Your ideas are
poisonous; your language horrible!'--'Well, Madame,' retorted he, 'all I
can say to that is, that I am really sorry for you!'"
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