Sixes and Sevens by O. Henry


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Page 47

"We will go, Lydia," he said chokingly. "This is an abominable --
desecration."

Before he could rise, she pulled him back into his seat. "We will stay it
out," she declared. "Do you want to advertise the copy by exhibiting the
original coat?" So they remained to the end.

Hargraves's success must have kept him up late that night, for neither at
the breakfast nor at the dinner table did he appear.

About three in the afternoon he tapped at the door of Major Talbot's
study. The major opened it, and Hargraves walked in with his hands full
of the morning papers -- too full of his triumph to notice anything
unusual in the major's demeanour.

"I put it all over 'em last night, major," he began exultantly. "I had my
inning, and, I think, scored. Here's what the _Post_ says:


His conception and portrayal of the old-time Southern colonel, with his
absurd grandiloquence, his eccentric garb, his quaint idioms and phrases,
his moth-eaten pride of family, and his really kind heart, fastidious
sense of honour, and lovable simplicity, is the best delineation of a
character role on the boards to-day. The coat worn by Colonel Calhoun is
itself nothing less than an evolution of genius. Mr. Hargraves has
captured his public.


"How does that sound, major, for a first nighter?"

"I had the honour" -- the major's voice sounded ominously frigid -- "of
witnessing your very remarkable performance, sir, last night."

Hargraves looked disconcerted.

"You were there? I didn't know you ever -- I didn't know you cared for
the theatre. Oh, I say, Major Talbot," he exclaimed frankly, "don't you
be offended. I admit I did get a lot of pointers from you that helped me
out wonderfully in the part. But it's a type, you know -- not
individual. The way the audience caught on shows that. Half the patrons
of that theatre are Southerners. They recognized it."

"Mr. Hargraves," said the major, who had remained standing, "you have put
upon me an unpardonable insult. You have burlesqued my person, grossly
betrayed my confidence, and misused my hospitality. If I thought you
possessed the faintest conception of what is the sign manual of a
gentleman, or what is due one, I would call you out, sir, old as I am. I
will ask you to leave the room, sir."

The actor appeared to be slightly bewildered, and seemed hardly to take in
the full meaning of the old gentleman's words.

"I am truly sorry you took offence," he said regretfully. "Up here we
don't look at things just as you people do. I know men who would buy out
half the house to have their personality put on the stage so the public
would recognize it."

"They are not from Alabama, sir," said the major haughtily.

"Perhaps not. I have a pretty good memory, major; let me quote a few
lines from your book. In response to a toast at a banquet given in --
Milledgeville, I believe -- you uttered, and intend to have printed, these
words:


The Northern man is utterly without sentiment or warmth except in so far
as the feelings may be turned to his own commercial profit. He will
suffer without resentment any imputation cast upon the honour of himself
or his loved ones that does not bear with it the consequence of pecuniary
loss. In his charity, he gives with a liberal hand; but it must be
heralded with the trumpet and chronicled in brass.


"Do you think that picture is fairer than the one you saw of Colonel
Calhoun last night?"

"The description," said the major frowning, "is -- not without grounds.
Some exag -- latitude must be allowed in public speaking."

"And in public acting," replied Hargraves.

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Thu 15th Jan 2026, 16:39