Something New by P. G. Wodehouse


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Page 42

It took Ashe some little time to get a thorough grasp of the
tangled situation; but he did it at last.

Only one point perplexed him.

"You want to hire somebody to go to this castle and get this
scarab back for you. I follow that. But why must he go as your
valet?"

"That's simple enough. You don't think I'm asking him to buy a
black mask and break in, do you? I'm making it as easy for him as
possible. I can't take a secretary down to the castle, for
everybody knows that, now I've retired, I haven't got a
secretary; and if I engaged a new one and he was caught trying to
steal my scarab from the earl's collection, it would look
suspicious. But a valet is different. Anyone can get fooled by a
crook valet with bogus references."

"I see. There's just one other point: Suppose your accomplice
does get caught--what then?"

"That," said Mr. Peters, "is the catch; and it's just because of
that I am offering good pay to my man. We'll suppose, for the
sake of argument, that you accept the contract and get caught.
Well, if that happens you've got to look after yourself. I
couldn't say a word. If I did it would all come out, and so far
as the breaking off of my daughter's engagement to young
Threepwood is concerned, it would be just as bad as though I had
tried to get the thing back myself.

"You've got to bear that in mind. You've got to remember it if
you forget everything else. I don't appear in this business in
any way whatsoever. If you get caught you take what's coming to
you without a word. You can't turn round and say: 'I am innocent.
Mr. Peters will explain all'--because Mr. Peters certainly won't.
Mr. Peters won't utter a syllable of protest if they want to hang
you.

"No; if you go into this, young man, you go into it with your
eyes open. You go into it with a full understanding of the
risks--because you think the reward, if you are successful, makes
the taking of those risks worth while. You and I know that what
you are doing isn't really stealing; it's simply a tactful way of
getting back my own property. But the judge and jury will have
different views."

"I am beginning to understand," said Ashe thoughtfully, "why you
called the job delicate and dangerous."

Certainly it had been no overstatement. As a writer of detective
stories for the British office boy, he had imagined in his time
many undertakings that might be so described, but few to which
the description was more admirably suited.

"It is," said Mr. Peters; "and that is why I'm offering good pay.
Whoever carries this job through gets one thousand pounds."

Ashe started.

"One thousand pounds--five thousand dollars!"

"Five thousand."

"When do I begin?"

"You'll do it?"

"For five thousand dollars I certainly will."

"With your eyes open?"

"Wide open!"

A look of positive geniality illuminated Mr. Peters' pinched
features. He even went so far as to pat Ashe on the shoulder.

"Good boy!" he said. "Meet me at Paddington Station at four
o'clock on Friday. And if there's anything more you want to know
come round to this address."

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Wed 17th Dec 2025, 9:35