Something New by P. G. Wodehouse


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Page 123

"Make life coherent instead of a jumble."

"Mr. Marson---"

"Don't call me Mr. Marson."

"Ashe, you don't know what you are doing. You don't know me.
I've been knocking about the world for five years and I'm
hard--hard right through. I should make you wretched."

"You are not in the least hard--and you know it. Listen to me,
Joan. Where's your sense of fairness? You crash into my life,
turn it upside down, dig me out of my quiet groove, revolutionize
my whole existence; and now you propose to drop me and pay no
further attention to me. Is it fair?"

"But I don't. We shall always be the best of friends."

"We shall--but we will get married first."

"You are determined?"

"I am!"

Joan laughed happily.

"How perfectly splendid! I was terrified lest I might have made
you change your mind. I had to say all I did to preserve my
self-respect after proposing to you. Yes; I did. How strange it
is that men never seem to understand a woman, however plainly she
talks! You don't think I was really worrying because I had lost
Aline, do you? I thought I was going to lose you, and it made me
miserable. You couldn't expect me to say it in so many words; but
I thought--I was hoping--you guessed. I practically said it.
Ashe! What are you doing?"

Ashe paused for a moment to reply.

"I am kissing you," he said.

"But you mustn't! There's a scullery maid or somebody looking
through the kitchen window. She will see us."

Ashe drew her to him.

"Scullery maids have few pleasures," he said. "Theirs is a dull
life. Let her see us."



CHAPTER XII

The Earl of Emsworth sat by the sick bed and regarded the
Honorable Freddie almost tenderly.

"I fear, Freddie, my dear boy, this has been a great shock to
you."

"Eh? What? Yes--rather! Deuce of a shock, gov'nor."

"I have been thinking it over, my boy, and perhaps I have been a
little hard on you. When your ankle is better I have decided to
renew your allowance; and you may return to London, as you do not
seem happy in the country. Though how any reasonable being can
prefer--"

The Honorable Freddie started, pop-eyed, to a sitting posture.

"My word! Not really?"

His father nodded.

"I say, gov'nor, you really are a topper! You really are, you
know! I know just how you feel about the country and the jolly
old birds and trees and chasing the bally slugs off the young
geraniums and all that sort of thing, but somehow it's never
quite hit me the same way. It's the way I'm built, I suppose. I
like asphalt streets and crowds and dodging taxis and meeting
chappies at the club and popping in at the Empire for half an
hour and so forth. And there's something about having an
allowance--I don't know . . . sort of makes you chuck your chest
out and feel you're someone. I don't know how to thank you,
gov'nor! You're--you're an absolute sportsman! This is the most
priceless bit of work you've ever done. I feel like a
two-year-old. I don't know when I've felt so braced.
I--I--really, you know, gov'nor, I'm most awfully grateful."

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Fri 27th Feb 2026, 19:12