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Page 95
They attired me for the coffin - three or four dark figures which
flitted busily to and fro. As these crossed the direct line of my
vision they affected me as forms; but upon passing to my side their
images impressed me with the idea of shrieks, groans, and other
dismal expressions of terror, of horror, or of wo. You alone, habited
in a white robe, passed in all directions musically about me.
The day waned; and, as its light faded away, I became possessed
by a vague uneasiness - an anxiety such as the sleeper feels when sad
real sounds fall continuously within his ear - low distant
bell-tones, solemn, at long but equal intervals, and mingling with
melancholy dreams. Night arrived; and with its shadows a heavy
discomfort. It oppressed my limbs with the oppression of some dull
weight, and was palpable. There was also a moaning sound, not unlike
the distant reverberation of surf, but more continuous, which,
beginning with the first twilight, had grown in strength with the
darkness. Suddenly lights were brought into the room, and this
reverberation became forthwith interrupted into frequent unequal
bursts of the same sound, but less dreary and less distinct. The
ponderous oppression was in a great measure relieved; and, issuing
from the flame of each lamp, (for there were many,) there flowed
unbrokenly into my ears a strain of melodious monotone. And when now,
dear Una, approaching the bed upon which I lay outstretched, you sat
gently by my side, breathing odor from your sweet lips, and pressing
them upon my brow, there arose tremulously within my bosom, and
mingling with the merely physical sensations which circumstances had
called forth, a something akin to sentiment itself - a feeling that,
half appreciating, half responded to your earnest love and sorrow;
but this feeling took no root in the pulseless heart, and seemed
indeed rather a shadow than a reality, and faded quickly away, first
into extreme quiescence, and then into a purely sensual pleasure as
before.
And now, from the wreck and the chaos of the usual senses, there
appeared to have arisen within me a sixth, all perfect. In its
exercise I found a wild delight - yet a delight still physical,
inasmuch as the understanding had in it no part. Motion in the animal
frame had fully ceased. No muscle quivered; no nerve thrilled; no
artery throbbed. But there seemed to have sprung up in the brain,
that of which no words could convey to the merely human intelligence
even an indistinct conception. Let me term it a mental pendulous
pulsation. It was the moral embodiment of man's abstract idea of
Time. By the absolute equalization of this movement - or of such as
this - had the cycles of the firmamental orbs themselves, been
adjusted. By its aid I measured the irregularities of the clock upon
the mantel, and of the watches of the attendants. Their tickings came
sonorously to my ears. The slightest deviations from the true
proportion - and these deviations were omni-pr�valent - affected me
just as violations of abstract truth were wont, on earth, to affect
the moral sense. Although no two of the time-pieces in the chamber
struck the individual seconds accurately together, yet I had no
difficulty in holding steadily in mind the tones, and the respective
momentary errors of each. And this - this keen, perfect,
self-existing sentiment of duration - this sentiment existing (as man
could not possibly have conceived it to exist) independently of any
succession of events - this idea - this sixth sense, upspringing from
the ashes of the rest, was the first obvious and certain step of the
intemporal soul upon the threshold of the temporal Eternity.
It was midnight; and you still sat by my side. All others had
departed from the chamber of Death. They had deposited me in the
coffin. The lamps burned flickeringly; for this I knew by the
tremulousness of the monotonous strains. But, suddenly these strains
diminished in distinctness and in volume. Finally they ceased. The
perfume in my nostrils died away. Forms affected my vision no longer.
The oppression of the Darkness uplifted itself from my bosom. A dull
shock like that of electricity pervaded my frame, and was followed by
total loss of the idea of contact. All of what man has termed sense
was merged in the sole consciousness of entity, and in the one
abiding sentiment of duration. The mortal body had been at length
stricken with the hand of the deadly Decay.
Yet had not all of sentience departed; for the consciousness and
the sentiment remaining supplied some of its functions by a lethargic
intuition. I appreciated the direful change now in operation upon the
flesh, and, as the dreamer is sometimes aware of the bodily presence
of one who leans over him, so, sweet Una, I still dully felt that you
sat by my side. So, too, when the noon of the second day came, I was
not unconscious of those movements which displaced you from my side,
which confined me within the coffin, which deposited me within the
hearse, which bore me to the grave, which lowered me within it, which
heaped heavily the mould upon me, and which thus left me, in
blackness and corruption, to my sad and solemn slumbers with the
worm.
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