A Damsel in Distress by P. G. Wodehouse


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Page 81

His position, of course, was delicate. He could not got to Maud and
beg her to confide in him. Maud would not understand his motives,
and might leap to the not unjustifiable conclusion that he had been
at the sherry. No! Men were easier to handle than women. As soon as
his duties would permit--and in the present crowded condition of
the house they were arduous--he set out for George's cottage.

"I trust I do not disturb or interrupt you, sir," he said, beaming
in the doorway like a benevolent high priest. He had doffed his
professional manner of austere disapproval, as was his custom in
moments of leisure.

"Not at all," replied George, puzzled. "Was there anything . . .?"

"There was, sir."

"Come along in and sit down."

"I would not take the liberty, if it is all the same to you, sir. I
would prefer to remain standing."

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. Uncomfortable, that is
to say, on the part of George, who was wondering if the butler
remembered having engaged him as a waiter only a few nights back.
Keggs himself was at his ease. Few things ruffled this man.

"Fine day," said George.

"Extremely, sir, but for the rain."

"Oh, is it raining?"

"Sharp downpour, sir."

"Good for the crops," said George.

"So one would be disposed to imagine, sir."

Silence fell again. The rain dripped from the eaves.

"If I might speak freely, sir . . .?" said Keggs.

"Sure. Shoot!"

"I beg your pardon, sir?"

"I mean, yes. Go ahead!"

The butler cleared his throat.

"Might I begin by remarking that your little affair of the 'eart,
if I may use the expression, is no secret in the Servants' 'All? I
'ave no wish to seem to be taking a liberty or presuming, but I
should like to intimate that the Servants' 'All is aware of the
facts."

"You don't have to tell me that," said George coldly. "I know all
about the sweepstake."

A flicker of embarrassment passed over the butler's large, smooth
face--passed, and was gone.

"I did not know that you 'ad been apprised of that little matter,
sir. But you will doubtless understand and appreciate our point of
view. A little sporting flutter--nothing more--designed to
halleviate the monotony of life in the country."

"Oh, don't apologize," said George, and was reminded of a point
which had exercised him a little from time to time since his vigil
on the balcony. "By the way, if it isn't giving away secrets, who
drew Plummer?"

"Sir?"

"Which of you drew a man named Plummer in the sweep?"

"I rather fancy, sir," Keggs' brow wrinkled in thought, "I rather
fancy it was one of the visiting gentlemen's gentlemen. I gave the
point but slight attention at the time. I did not fancy Mr.
Plummer's chances. It seemed to me that Mr. Plummer was a
negligible quantity."

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