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Page 60
"You must not speak so when any one can hear you," she would reply.
Carl would then nod his head pleasantly, and one day he learned the
secret, for he felt he could not remain long on this earth, and he
wished to know all, and aside from that Nanna was anxious to discover
whether he believed as firmly as she did in Gottlieb's vows.
"Do you think, Carl," said she, as she concluded her recital, "do you
think he will return?"
"As certainly as I shall never see the sun rise on St. John's day, for
I saw that in his eye, which assured me he would not break his
promises."
"Why do you use such an ominous comparison, Carl? Why do you think you
will not see the sunrise on St. John's day?"
The pain caused by the beginning of Carl's remark, clouded the pure joy
which his concluding words would have otherwise created.
"I am waiting," said he, "only that I may see the lilacs bloom once
more. In those beautiful flowers I have found my greatest joy."
Old Mr. Lonner occasionally attempted to prepare his son's mind for the
future which awaited him; but he ceased when one day Carl innocently
addressed him:
"Father," said he, "I wish you would not talk with me thus. I believe in
our Saviour and his love for us sinners, and as I do not think I have
done much harm--except perhaps when I stole the game--I fear not for the
future. I shall wait patiently until my Saviour chooses to take me to
himself. I can well imagine that there is not much space in heaven; but
I believe that there is a small place for one so insignificant as me,
where I can wait the coming of Magde, Nanna, Father, Ragnar, and all the
little ones, that is if they do not hold me in contempt."
"How strangely you talk, dear Carl!" said Magde, entering into the
conversation. "You well know that I would like to be near you in
heaven, for you are aware that next to Ragnar I love you more than any
other being on earth."
"You say so only to make me happy; but I am not so vain as to believe
your words."
"Is there any one here who displays more love for you than I?" inquired
Magde.
Carl smiled, and glanced at the wall. There hung a new vest, the pattern
of which Carl examined as carefully as though each thread had been a
painting in itself.
"Do you think," said he, after a pause, during which his father left the
room, "do you think that Ragnar is vexed with me? He certainly must have
observed that I love you more than, perhaps, I should--I speak frankly
to you, Magde, for I know you are different from others, and I could not
die in peace if I thought that my brother Ragnar was offended with me."
"Be convinced, my dear Carl, that Ragnar loves you as a brother should.
He saw undoubtedly that no one could please you so well as I; but he
often told me, and especially before his last departure--"
"What did he say?" inquired Carl, eagerly.
"'Magde,' said he, 'never desert Carl. He is an honest and faithful
soul, who can find no joy unless with you; but Carl is not the one who
would seek to injure me by word or thought, and therefore I shall not
interfere with his sentiments, but allow him to entertain them freely,
and,' he added, 'you may tell him this at some future time when he may
feel troubled on my account.'"
"Did he speak thus, assuredly?"
"He did, I swear it by my hopes of meeting him again."
"And you have obeyed him, and not deserted me; but will you do so as
long as I am with you here?"
"Never shall I desert you, Carl."
"And when the last moment approaches," said he in a soft tone, "you will
moisten my lips, you will smooth my pillow, and when the struggle of
death comes upon me, I wish you to hold my hand in yours, as you now do,
that I may feel that you are with me. Then you must--will you do so,
Magde?--close my eyes with your own hands, and sing a psalm to me."
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