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Page 46
"But you doubt that--that I should succeed in pleasing her?"
"Why should you not please her? You are more than good-looking. You are
thirty-two years old; she is sixteen. You are a little richer than she is.
All that does very well."
"Well, then, why do you hesitate to serve me?"
"I do not hesitate to serve you; only I see you very much in love; you are
not accustomed to it, and I fear that a condition of things so novel for
you might be urging you somewhat hastily to such a grave determination as
marriage. A wife is not a mistress. In short, before taking an irrevocable
step I would beg of you to think well and further over it."
"My good friend," said the count, "I do not wish, and I believe quite
sincerely that I cannot, do so. You know my ideas. Genuine passions always
have the best of it, and I am not quite sure that honor itself is a very
effective argument against them. As to setting up reason against them, it
is worse than folly. Besides, come, Lucan, what is there so unreasonable
in the simple fact of marrying a person I love? I don't see that it is
absolutely necessary for a man not to love his wife--Well! can I rely upon
you?"
"Completely so," said Lucan, taking his hand. "I raised my objections; now
I am wholly at your service. I shall speak to Clotilde in a moment. She is
going to see her daughter this afternoon. Come and dine with us to-night;
but summon up all your courage, for, after all, success is very
uncertain."
Monsieur de Lucan found it no difficult task to gain the cause of Monsieur
de Moras with Clotilde. After hearing him, not, however, without
interrupting him more than once with exclamations of surprise:
"Mon Dieu!" she replied, "that would be an ideal! Not only would that
marriage put an end to projects that break my heart, but it offers all the
conditions of happiness that I can possibly think of for my daughter; and
furthermore, the friendship that binds you to Pierre would naturally, some
day, bring about a _rapprochement_ between his wife and yourself. All that
would be too fortunate; but how could we hope for such a complete and
sudden revolution in Julia's ideas? She will not even allow me to deliver
my message to the end."
She left, palpitating with anxiety. She found Julia alone in her room,
trying on before a mirror her novice's dress; the vail that was to conceal
her luxuriant hair was laid upon the bed; she was simply dressed in a
long, white woolen tunic, whose folds she was engaged in adjusting.
She blushed when she saw her mother come in; then with an insipient laugh:
"Cymodocea in the circus, isn't it, mother?"
Clotilde made no answer; she had joined her hands in a supplicating
attitude, and wept as she looked at her. Julia was moved by that mute
sorrow; two tears rolled from her eyes, and she threw her arms around her
mother's neck; then, taking a seat by her side:
"What can I do?" she said; "I, too, feel some regret at heart, for, after
all, I was fond of life; but aside from my vocation, which I believe quite
real, I am yielding to a positive necessity. There is no other existence
possible for me but that one. I know very well--it's my own fault; I have
been somewhat foolish--I should not have left you in the first place, or
at least, I should have returned to your house immediately after your
marriage. Now, after months, and even years, is it possible, I ask you? In
the first place, I would die with shame. Can you imagine me in the
presence of your husband? What sort of countenance could I put on? And
then, he must fairly detest me, the bent must be firmly taken in his mind.
Finally, I should be in all respects terribly in your way!"
"But, my dear child, no one hates you; you would be received with
transports of joy, like the prodigal child. If you deem it too painful to
return to my home--if you fear to find or to bring trouble there with
you--God knows how mistaken you are on this point! but still, if you do
fear it, is that a reason why you should bury yourself alive and break my
heart? Could you not return into the world without returning to my own
house, and without having to face all those difficulties that frighten
you? There would be a very simple way of doing that, you know!"
"What is it?" said Julia quietly; "to marry?"
"Undoubtedly," said Clotilde, shaking her head gently and lowering her
voice.
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