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Page 27
"And in what capacity could I do so, pray, madam?" I said slowly and in a
tone of cold reserve.
"Ah!" she exclaimed, in a hoarse and energetic accent, "how can you ask me
that? It is too hard! you humiliate me too much!"
She left my arm and returned abruptly into the parlor. I remained for some
time uncertain as to what course to pursue. I thought first of following
Madame de Palme and explaining to her that she was mistaken--which was
true--as to the interrogative answer which had offended her. She had
applied that answer to some thought that pervaded her mind, which I did
not understand, or at least which her words had revealed to me much less
clearly than she had imagined; but after thinking over it, I shrank from
the new and formidable explanation which such a course must inevitably
bring about.
I left the conservatory, and walked into the garden to escape the hum of
the ball-room, which importuned my ears. The night was cold but beautiful.
With my heart still filled with the bitterness of this scene, I wandered
instinctively beyond the luminous zone projected around the chateau
through the apertures of the resplendent windows. I walked rapidly toward
a double row of spruce trees, crossed by a rustic bridge thrown over a
small brook which divided the garden from the park, and where the shade
was more dense. I had just reached this somber spot, when a hand was laid
on my arm and stopped me; at the same time a short and troubled voice,
which I could not mistake, said:
"I must speak to you!"
"Madam! for mercy's sake! in the name of Heaven! what are you doing? you
will ruin your reputation! Do return to the house! Come, come, let me
escort you back!"
I attempted to seize her arm, but she eluded my grasp.
"I want to speak to you--I have decided to do so. Oh, mon Dieu! how
awkwardly I do go about it, don't I? You must believe me more than ever a
miserable creature! and yet there is nothing in it, not a thing; it's the
truth, the pure truth, mon ami! You are the first man for whose sake I
have forgotten--all that I am now forgetting! Yes, the first! Never has
any other man heard from my lips a single word of tenderness, never! And
you do not believe!"
I took both her hands in mine:
"I believe you, I swear it--I swear that I esteem you--that I respect you
as a beloved daughter--but listen to me; pray, listen! do not brave openly
this pitiless world--return to the ball-room--I'll join you there soon, I
promise you--but in the name of Heaven, do not compromise your fair fame!"
The poor child melted into tears, and I felt that she was staggering; I
supported her and helped her to a seat on a bench close by. I remained
standing before her, holding one of her hands. The darkness was intense
around us; I gazed into space, and I listened, in a state of vague stupor,
to the clear and regular murmur of the brook flowing under the spruce
trees, to the convulsive sobs that swelled the unhappy woman's bosom, and
to the odious sounds of revelry which the orchestra sent us at intervals
from afar. It was one of those moments that can never be forgotten.
She succeeded in mastering her grief at last, and seemed, after this
explosion, to recover all her firmness.
"Monsieur," she said, rising and withdrawing her hand, "have no fears
about my reputation. The world is accustomed to my follies. However, I
have taken care that the present one shall not be noticed. Besides, I
would not care if it was. You are the only man whose esteem I have ever
desired, and, unfortunately the only one also whose contempt I have
incurred--that is most cruel!--and yet something must tell you that I do
not deserve it."
"Madam!"
"Listen to me! and may God convince you. This is a solemn hour in my
existence. Since the first glance you ever cast upon me, sir--on that day
when I went up to you while you were sketching the old church--since that
first glance, I belonged to you. I have never loved, I shall never love
any man but you. Will you take me for your wife? I am worthy of it--I
swear it to you in the presence of that Heaven which is looking down upon
us!"
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