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Page 10
I will admit that it was I who gave Mrs. Brackett the idea. But to blame me
for the very unfortunate _d�nouement_ is ridiculous.
I met Mrs. Blackett in Sloane Street.
"I'm on my way to a registry-office," she said. "No, not that kind of
registry-office; I'm not about to commit bigamy. I mean the kind where
domestic assistants are sought, but mostly in vain. I suppose you don't
know of a cook, a kitchenmaid, a housemaid, a parlourmaid and a tweeny?"
I confessed that I did not. But I told her the story of some friends of
mine who had been in a similar position and had succeeded in reorganising
their establishment by an ingenious strategy.
"The wife went away to stay with friends in the country," I said, "and the
husband went to the registry-office, representing himself to be a bachelor,
a rather easy-going bachelor. It seems that such establishments are popular
with the few domestic servants still at large. After a short time he let it
be known that he was really married, but separated from his wife; and after
a further interval he called his household together and with tears in his
voice informed them that he and his wife had composed their differences and
that she was returning to him on the morrow. I understand that it was a
complete success."
Mrs. Brackett was very much impressed by this story.
"If I don't find anyone to-day I shall try it," she said as we parted.
She did not find anyone, and, she did try it. She left home the following
day, as I learnt from Brackett when I met him a week later.
"Your tip's come off absolutely A 1," he said, "and I'm most awfully
obliged. The worry was getting on my wife's nerves. As it is I filled up my
establishment a couple of days ago and, as everything is going well, I've
wired my wife to come home to-morrow."
"Have you broken it to the maids?" I asked doubtfully.
"Oh, no; but I shall just tell 'em in the morning," said Brackett. "That'll
be all right."
I felt at the time that he was being far too precipitate, but he seemed so
confident that I didn't interfere. The sequel was disastrous.
In the first place Brackett, in his casual way, omitted to say anything
about his being married until Mrs. Brackett was actually in the house. Even
then he seems to have been rather ambiguous in his explanations. Anyway the
new maids were, or affected to be, profoundly shocked. They intimated that
they would never have entered so irregular an establishment had they known,
and departed _en masse_ after spreading a scandal among the tradespeople
which will take the Bracketts twenty years to live down.
* * * * *
THE ARRESTING POWER OF BEAUTY.
"You dreamed of someone with whiskers who made your heart stop beating
in your tiny waist every time he looked at you."--_Home Notes._
* * * * *
"General, good plain cook; �45; flat, Maida Vale; constant hot water."
--_Times._
But why tell the poor woman beforehand?
* * * * *
"It recalls the distressing aphorism:
'Life is real, life is earnest,
And things are not what they seem.'"
_Liverpool Post and Mercury._
For example, this may seem like a quotation from the "Psalm of Life," but
it isn't.
* * * * *
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