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Page 11
"Several letters have appeared in the native Press in some of which
they ask Minindirect way, as they have done, but in a indirect way they
have done but in a clear clear manner which cannot be interpreted two
ways."--_Egyptian Gazette._
Or, so far as we are concerned, even one way.
* * * * *
[Illustration: ANOTHER "RESERVATION."
STARVING EUROPE. "GOD HELP ME!"
AMERICA. "VERY SAD CASE. BUT I'M AFRAID SHE AIN'T TRYING."
["Relief would be found in the resumption of industrial life and activity
and the imposition of adequate taxation. The American people should not be
called upon to finance the requirements of Europe in so far as they result
from failure to take these necessary steps."--_Mr. CARTER GLASS, Secretary
of the United States Treasury._]]
* * * * *
THE BIG-GAME CURE.
[In common with everything else, wild animals have risen considerably
in price.]
In other times I might have made
For those wild lands where growls the grisly,
Have tracked him (with some native aid)
And held a broken-hearted Bisley;
Now that my Maud has murmured, "Nay,"
Shrinking from matrimony's tight knot,
I might have acted thus, I say
(Contrariwise, I might not).
In any case to-day I shrink
From thus evading Sorrow's trammels;
A sense of duty bids me think
How costly are the larger mammals;
To kill them just to soothe my mind
Would seem to savour of the wasteful,
A thing all patriot poets find
Exceedingly distasteful.
Not mine the immemorial cure;
The voice of conscience warns me off it;
I'll leave the following of the spoor
To those who follow it for profit;
I feel they would not thank me for
Turning the jungle to a shambles,
Who speculate in lions or
Have elephantine gambles.
And so this poet will not roam;
Remaining on his native heath, he
Will seek an anodyne at home,
Nor look beyond the Thames for Lethe;
And if he fades away, denied
The usual balm in cardiac crises,
Say only this of him, "He died
A prey to soaring prices."
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL.]
* * * * *
HOW TO ACT IN EMERGENCIES.
_The Weekly Dispatch_ symposium, in which various celebrities discuss the
way to act in the event of a burglar being found in the house, shows the
need for a little advice in case of emergencies. We append the following
very helpful hints:--
The old plan of offering a burglar a cigarette and asking him to take a
chair while you telephone to the police is not now so successful as in the
past. The best plan is to tackle the fellow right away. For this purpose
you should step behind him, take hold of his coat and force it over his
face. Then tie his left arm to his right leg across the back. Properly
carried out, this method rarely fails.
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