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Page 21
"At this solemn hour, the great day of judgment fills my thoughts; the
day of retribution, when the secrets of all hearts will be revealed;
when all worldly distinctions will fade away, and be no more seen. I
have not words to express the sublime images which the bare
contemplation of this awful day raises in my mind. Then, indeed, the
Lord Omnipotent will reign, and He will wipe the tearful eye, and
support the trembling heart--yet a little while He hideth his face, and
the dun shades of sorrow, and the thick clouds of folly separate us from
our God; but when the glad dawn of an eternal day breaks, we shall know
even as we are known. Here we walk by faith, and not by sight; and we
have this alternative, either to enjoy the pleasures of life which are
but for a season, or look forward to the prize of our high calling, and
with fortitude, and that wisdom which is from above, endeavour to bear
the warfare of life. We know that many run the race; but he that
striveth obtaineth the crown of victory. Our race is an arduous one! How
many are betrayed by traitors lodged in their own breasts, who wear the
garb of Virtue, and are so near akin; we sigh to think they should ever
lead into folly, and slide imperceptibly into vice. Surely any thing
like happiness is madness! Shall probationers of an hour presume to
pluck the fruit of immortality, before they have conquered death? it is
guarded, when the great day, to which I allude, arrives, the way will
again be opened. Ye dear delusions, gay deceits, farewel! and yet I
cannot banish ye for ever; still does my panting soul push forward, and
live in futurity, in the deep shades o'er which darkness hangs.--I try
to pierce the gloom, and find a resting-place, where my thirst of
knowledge will be gratified, and my ardent affections find an object to
fix them. Every thing material must change; happiness and this
fluctating principle is not compatible. Eternity, immateriality, and
happiness,--what are ye? How shall I grasp the mighty and fleeting
conceptions ye create?"
After writing, serenely she delivered her soul into the hands of the
Father of Spirits; and slept in peace.
CHAP. XXI.
Mary rose early, refreshed by the seasonable rest, and went to visit the
poor woman, whom she found quite recovered: and, on enquiry, heard that
she had lately buried her husband, a common sailor; and that her only
surviving child had been washed over-board the day before. Full of her
own danger, she scarcely thought of her child till that was over; and
then she gave way to boisterous emotions.
Mary endeavoured to calm her at first, by sympathizing with her; and she
tried to point out the only solid source of comfort but in doing this
she encountered many difficulties; she found her grossly ignorant, yet
she did not despair: and as the poor creature could not receive comfort
from the operations of her own mind, she laboured to beguile the hours,
which grief made heavy, by adapting her conversation to her capacity.
There are many minds that only receive impressions through the medium of
the senses: to them did Mary address herself; she made her some
presents, and promised to assist her when they should arrive in England.
This employment roused her out of her late stupor, and again set the
faculties of her soul in motion; made the understanding contend with the
imagination, and the heart throbbed not so irregularly during the
contention. How short-lived was the calm! when the English coast was
descried, her sorrows returned with redoubled vigor.--She was to visit
and comfort the mother of her lost friend--And where then should she
take up her residence? These thoughts suspended the exertions of her
understanding; abstracted reflections gave way to alarming
apprehensions; and tenderness undermined fortitude.
CHAP. XXII.
In England then landed the forlorn wanderer. She looked round for some
few moments--her affections were not attracted to any particular part of
the Island. She knew none of the inhabitants of the vast city to which
she was going: the mass of buildings appeared to her a huge body without
an informing soul. As she passed through the streets in an
hackney-coach, disgust and horror alternately filled her mind. She met
some women drunk; and the manners of those who attacked the sailors,
made her shrink into herself, and exclaim, are these my fellow
creatures!
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