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Page 4
Well may I blush, dear Nell, to re-read this girlish nonsense. And yet
it contains not the least strange part of this strange story--poor Mr.
Manners' presentiment of evil. After this he called constantly, and we
met him often in society; and, blinded by I know not what delusion,
Harriet believed him to be devoted to herself, up to the period, as I
fancy, when he asked me to be his wife. I was staying with the Tophams
at the time. I believe that they had asked me there on purpose, being
his friends. Ah, George! what a happy time that was! How, in the sweet
days of the sweetest of summers, I laughed at your "presentiment"! How
you told me that the joy had come, and, reminding me of my own sermon on
the chequered nature of life, asked if the sorrow would yet tread it
down. Too soon, my love! too soon!
Nelly! forgive me this outburst. I must write more calmly. It is sad to
speak ill of a sister; but surely it was cruel, that she, who had so
many lovers, should grudge me my happiness; should pursue George with
such unreasonable malice; should rouse the senseless but immovable
obstinacy of our poor brother against him. Oh, Eleanor! think of my
position! Our father and mother dead; under the care of our only
brother, who, as you know, dear Nell, was at one time feared to be a
complete idiot, and had, poor boy! only so much sense as to make him
sane in the eyes of the law. You know the fatal obstinacy with which he
pursued an idea once instilled; the occasional fits of rage that were
not less than insanity. Knowing all this, my dear, imagine what I must
have suffered when angrily recalled home. I was forbidden to think of
Mr. Manners again. In vain I asked for reasons. They had none, and yet a
thousand to give me. When I think of the miserable stories that were
raked up against him,--the misconstruction of everything he did, or
said, or left undone,--my own impotent indignation, and my poor
brother's senseless rage, and the insulting way in which I was watched,
and taunted, and tortured,--oh, Nelly! it is agony to write. I did the
only thing left to me--I gave him up, and prayed for peace. I do not say
that I was right: I say that I did the best I could in a state of things
that threatened to deprive me of reason.
My submission did not produce an amount of harmony in the house in any
way proportionate to the price I paid for it. Harriet was obliged to
keep the slanders of my lover constantly in view, to quiet the
self-reproach which I think she must sometimes have experienced. As to
Edmund, my obedience had somewhat satisfied him, and made way for
another subject of interest which was then engrossing his mind.
A man on his estate, renting a farm close to us, who was a Quaker, and
very "strict" in his religious profession, had been for a long time
grossly cheating him, relying, no doubt, on my poor brother's deficient
intellect. But minds that are intellectually and in reason deficient,
are often endowed with a large share of cunning and caution, especially
in monetary affairs. Edmund guessed, watched, and discovered; but when
the proof was in his hands, his proceedings were characteristically
peculiar. He did not discharge the man, and have done with it; he
retained him in his place, but seemed to take a--let me say--insane
delight in exposing him to the religious circle in which he had been a
star, and from which he was ignominiously expelled; and in heaping every
possible annoyance and disgrace upon him that the circumstances
admitted. My dear, I think I should have preferred his wrath upon
myself, to being the witness of my brother's miserable exultation over
the wretched man, Parker. His chief gratification lay in the thought
that, exquisite as were the vexations he heaped upon him, the man was
obliged to express gratitude for his master's forbearance as regarded
the law.
"He said he should never forget my consideration for him till death! Ha!
ha!"
"My only puzzle," I said, "is, what can induce him to stay with you."
And then the storm turned upon me, Eleanor.
You will ask me, my dear, how, meanwhile, had Mr. Manners taken my
letter of dismissal. I know now, Nell, and so will not revive the
mystery that then added weight to my distress. He wrote me many
letters,--but I never saw one!
* * * * *
And now, dear friend, let me pause and gather courage to relate the
terrible events of that sultry, horrible--that accursed June.
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