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Page 14
A conqueror arose from the dead. "Yesterday," he said, "I ruled half the
world." "Please show me the half that you ruled," said an angel,
pointing out a wisp of glowing vapor floating in space. "That is the
world."
"Who art thou, shivering in thy furs?" "My name is Avarice. What is
thine?" "Unselfishness." "Where is thy clothing, placid one?" "Thou art
wearing it."
To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To
laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.
If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much
greater than they.
To have something that he will not desire, nor know that he has--such is
the hope of him who seeks the admiration of posterity. The character of
his work does not matter; he is a humorist.
Women, and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
To fatten pigs, confine and feed them; to fatten rogues, cultivate a
generous disposition.
Every heart is the lair of a ferocious animal. The greatest wrong that
you can put upon a man is to provoke him to let out his beast.
When two irreconcilable propositions are presented for assent the safest
way is to thank Heaven that we are not as the unreasoning brutes, and
believe both.
Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently
presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it
a numerical presumption.
A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you
dance, but you can't let go.
Meeting Merit on a street-crossing, Success stood still. Merit stepped
off into the mud and went around him, bowing his apologies, which
Success had the grace to accept.
"I think," says the philosopher divine, "Therefore I am." Sir, here's a
surer sign: We know we live, for with our every breath we feel the fear
and imminence of death.
The first man you meet is a fool. If you do not think so ask him and he
will prove it.
He who would rather inflict injustice than suffer it will always have
his choice, for no injustice can be done to him.
There are as many conceptions of a perfect happiness hereafter as there
are minds that have marred their happiness here.
We yearn to be, not what we are, but what we are not. If we were
immortal we should not crave immortality.
A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the
rabbit.
Before praising the wisdom of the man who knows how to hold his tongue
ascertain if he knows how to hold his pen.
The most charming view in the world is obtained by introspection.
Love is unlike chess, in that the pieces are moved secretly and the
player sees most of the game. But the looker-on has one incomparable
advantage: he is not the stake.
It is not for nothing that tigers choose to hide in the jungle, for
commerce and trade are carried on, mostly, in the open.
We say that we love, not whom we will, but whom we must. Our judgment
need not, therefore, go to confession.
Of two kinds of temporary insanity, one ends in suicide, the other in
marriage.
If you give alms from compassion, why require the beneficiary to be "a
deserving object?" No other adversity is so sharp as destitution of
merit.
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