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Page 39
The degree of intensity may also depend on the former life of the
person.
One has wandered very far from his Father's house. He has wasted
his substance in riotous living. He has sunken very low in sin and
guilt. When God's Word comes to such an one, and shows him his
wretched state, when he _comes to himself_, his penitence is likely to
be deep and painful, and when he is enabled to believe, his faith will
probably be quite joyful, because he realizes the depth from which he
was drawn. God's Word has acted on him _like a fire_, burning deep
down into the conscience, consuming its dross.
Another has never wandered so far away. He has all along been
more or less under divine influence. Baptized in childhood, brought up
amid Christian restraints, he has at least observed the outward
obligations of religion, though he may not in the past have yielded
himself unreservedly unto Christ. When such an one does give himself
to God, his repentance may not be so marked, or his faith be so
demonstrative, but on this account the conversion is none the less
real. God's Word, at length, _opened his heart_, as the heart of
Lydia, the seller of purple, was opened.
We notice in the next place that there are differences in the
duration of the process. With some the process lasts longer than with
others. This fact is implied indeed in the variations noted above. On
one person the Word may make but a superficial impression at first. It
may be only a slight dissatisfaction with self. But with more light
and knowledge, the feeling of penitence is deepened. Longings for
something better are awakened. Yearnings and outcryings after
deliverance arise from the heart. There is then only a first timid
trembling look to Christ. Gradually, slowly, the faith is drawn out,
until the heart is enabled to cast itself on the Saviour and rest
trustingly there. It may be weeks, months, or even years, before that
penitent comes out into the clear sunlight of assurance and peace. In
all such cases it is "_first the blade, then the ear, and then the
full corn in the ear_."
On the other hand, we freely admit that there are sudden
conversions. God's word comes _as a hammer or as a fire_ (Jer.
xxiii. 29). It smites and burns until the sinner is brought low in the
dust. The heart is broken and becomes contrite, and ready to lay hold
of the Crucified One, as soon as He is presented. To this class,
generally, belong some of those noted above as of sanguine
temperament, and those who have fallen deeply into sin. Going to the
Word of God for examples of the two latter classes, we might mention
Zaccheus, Saul of Tarsus, the Philippian jailer, and the three
thousand on the day of Pentecost, as cases of sudden conversion--while
we might instance the disciples of Christ in general, as cases of slow
and gradual conversion. 1 Cor. xii. 6, "_There are diversities of
operation, but it is the same God which worketh all in all_."
From all this it follows that not every one can tell the exact
time when, and the place where, he was converted. True, some can.
Zaccheus, and the jailer, and Saul, and the three thousand, would
doubtless always remember and be able to tell about the time and place
and circumstances of their entrance into the kingdom. But could the
apostles of Jesus tell? Do we not read how slowly they were
enlightened; how, little by little, their errors had to be removed,
and the truth applied? They did not, in fact, become established in
the faith until after the resurrection.
And so it is with many, probably, indeed, with most of the very
best Christians in the church to-day. They cannot tell when they were
converted.
Neither is it necessary. On the Day of Judgment the question will
not be asked: "Where and when and how were you converted?" The
question will be, "Were you in a converted state, turned from darkness
to light, and from the power of Satan to God?" No matter whether you
belonged to that favored class who kept their baptismal covenant
unbroken; or whether, after you had been a stranger and a foreigner
for a time, you were slowly, and through much doubt and, misgiving,
brought to penitence and faith; or whether you were suddenly brought
into the kingdom.
Can each one then tell whether he is at present in a converted
state or not? We answer unhesitatingly, Yes, to a certainty. The
inquirer need only look into his heart and see _how his sins affect
him_. Do his sins grieve him? Does he hate them? Does he earnestly
long and strive to be rid of them? Does he daily turn to Jesus Christ
for forgiveness and strength? If he can answer these questions in the
affirmative, he has the elements and evidences of conversion and the
new life. Though faith be weak, it is accepted. Though assurance at
times be dim, the vision of faith clouded, and faith itself almost
unconscious, it still saves; for it is not the assurance, but the
faith, that justifies.
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