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Page 20
* * * * *
There was a Society Sinner
Who no longer was asked out to dinner;
This proof of his guilt
So caused him to wilt
That he's now emigrated to Pinner.
* * * * *
[Illustration: MORE ADVENTURES OF A POST-WAR SPORTSMAN.
_Post-War Sportsman._"WOT'S THE MATTER?"
_Mrs. P.-W.S._"WHEN I WANT HIM TO JUMP THE FENCE HE JUST STOPS AND EATS IT.
WHAT AM I TO DO?"
_P.-W.S._ "COME ALONG WI' ME, MY DEAR; I'LL SHOW YOU. 'E CAN'T EAT A
GATE."]
* * * * *
OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.
(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)
In the war-after-the-war, the bombardment of books that is now so violently
raging upon all fronts, any contribution by a writer as eminent as Lord
HALDANE naturally commands the respect due to weapons of the heaviest
calibre. Unfortunately "heavy" is here an epithet unkindly apt, since it
has to be admitted that the noble lord wields a pen rather philosophic than
popular, with the result that _Before the War_ (CASSELL) tells a story of
the highest interest in a manner that can only be called ponderous. Our
ex-War Minister is, at least chiefly, responding to the literary offensives
of BETHMANN-HOLLWEG and TIRPITZ, in connection with whose books his should
be read, if the many references are properly to be understood. As every
reader will know, however, Lord HALDANE could hardly have delivered his
apologia before the accuser without the gates and not at the same time had
an eye on the critic within. Fortunately it is here no part of a reviewer's
task to obtrude his own political theories. With regard to the chief
indictment, of having permitted the country to be taken unawares, the
author betrays his legal training by a defence which is in effect (1) that
circumstances compelled our being so taken, and that (2) we weren't. On
this and other matter, however, the individual reader, having paid his
money (7_s_. 6_d_. net), remains at liberty to take his choice. One
revelation at least emerges clearly enough from Lord HALDANE'S pages--the
danger of playing diplomat to a democracy. "Extremists, whether Chauvinist
or Pacifist, are not helpful in avoiding wars" is one of many conclusions,
double-edged perhaps, to which he is led by retrospect of his own trials.
His book, while making no concessions to the modern demand for vivacity, is
one that no student of the War and its first causes can neglect.
* * * * *
It is not Mr. L. COPE CORNFORD'S fault that his initials are identical with
those of the London County Council, nor do I consider it to be mine that
his rather pontifical attitude towards men and matters reminds me of that
august body. Anyone ignorant of recent inventions might be excused for
thinking that _The Paravane Adventure_ (HODDER AND STOUGHTON) is the title
of a stirring piece of sensational fiction. But fiction it is not, though
in some of its disclosures it may be considered sensational enough. In this
history of the invention of the Paravane Mr. CORNFORD hurls a lot of
well-directed bricks at Officialdom, and concludes his book by giving us
his frank opinion of the way in which the Navy ought to be run. It is
impossible, even if one does not subscribe to all his ideas, to refrain
from commending the enthusiasm with which he writes of those who, in spite
of great difficulties, set to work to invent and perfect the Paravane. If
you don't know what a Paravane is I have neither the space nor the ability
to tell you; but Mr. CORNFORD has, and it's all in the book.
* * * * *
A stray paragraph in a contemporary, to the effect that the portrait of the
heroine and the story of her life in Baroness VON HUTTEN'S _Happy House_
(HUTCHINSON) is a transcript of actual fact, saves me from the indiscretion
of declaring that I found _Mrs. Walbridge_ and her egregious husband and
the general situation at Happy House frankly incredible. Pleasantly
incredible, I should have added; and I rather liked the young man,
_Oliver_, from Fleet Street, whom the Great Man had recently made Editor of
_Sparks_ and who realised that he was destined to be a titled millionaire,
for is not that the authentic procedure? Hence his fanatical obstinacy in
wooing his, if you ask me, none too desirable bride. I hope I am not doing
the author a disservice in describing this as a thoroughly wholesome book,
well on the side of the angels. It has the air of flowing easily from a
practised pen. But nothing will induce me to believe that _Mrs. Walbridge_,
putting off her Victorian airs, did win the prize competition with a novel
in the modern manner.
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