Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, January 21st, 1920 by Various


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Page 7

Oh! (as I was just remarking
When you interrupted me)
Where the marabouts are barking
It is there that I would be;
Where on promontories stony
All the loud Atlantic raves
And the, if not very tony,
Still quite practical seal coney
Plunges in the wind-whipt waves.

Where the graceful skunk opossum
And the stylish leopard mink
Scamper as you come across 'em,
Climb upon the ca�on's brink,
Gambol with the pony musquash,
Claimed not for a collar yet--
Far away from London's bus-squash
And advertisements of tusk-wash
Are my yearning visions set.

If such dreams and such romances,
Editor and reader mine,
Have not filled your heart with fancies--
Silence and the lonely pine,
Distant snows that cool the fever
Of a weary world-worn soul,
There where life is no deceiver
And the wallaby-dyed-beaver
Makes a very natural mole--

If you have not heard the calling
Of the lone, lone trail and far,
Where the animals enthralling
I have lately mentioned are,
Nature splendid and full-blooded,
Just a gun and pipe and dog
(How those avalanches thudded!)--
No? Why, then you can't have studied
Perkins' Bargain Catalogue.

EVOE.

* * * * *

[Illustration: MANNERS AND MODES.

DYSPEPSIA DE LUXE.]

* * * * *

BILLIARDS.

HERBERT _V._ JAMES.

This match of a hundred up was played in the handsome saloon of the
"Leadswingers' Arms" yesterday afternoon before an unusually dense crowd,
who both came in just too late to secure the table. It is understood that
the game was arranged as the result of a heated discussion during lunch the
same day, in the course of which Herbert had the effrontery to tell me--I
mean, to tell James--that what I--that is, he--knew about billiards
wouldn't cover the pyramid-spot. James, who some hours later thought of a
perfectly priceless repartee, which he has since forgotten, replied with
dignity by challenging the other to an immediate game. Herbert accepted
and, hastily finishing their lunch, the two repaired to the nearest
billiard-room.

"I'm not due back at the office for another twenty minutes, so we've tons
of time," observed Herbert airily as they entered.

James looked at him, but said nothing. He had the better of the opening
manoeuvres, however, for he secured the only cue that possessed a
non-flexible tip; Herbert's was at the best of the semi-rigid type, a fact
which impelled him to declare that the place would soon resemble a popular
tea-shop. Not being pressed for an elucidation of this remark, he
volunteered one. "No tips," he explained as he tenderly chalked his.

Herbert won the toss and elected to break with spot, which appeared to be a
rounder ball than its fellow. Taking a careful and protracted aim at the
red, he only missed the object-ball by inches, his own travelling twice
round the table before finally coming to rest in baulk.

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Fri 10th Jan 2025, 5:56