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Page 11
* * * * *
THE PERILS OF HUMOUR.
From _Punch_:--
"'THE PROFITEER'S ANTHEM.
The hymns to be sung will be (1) "All people that on earth do well."'--
_Rangoon Times._"
From _The Manchester Evening Chronicle_:--
"'THE PROFITEER'S ANTHEM.
The hymns to be sung will be (1) "All people that on earth do dwell."'
_Rangoon Times_, quoted in _Punch_."
* * * * *
"It was reported to the Sanitary Committee yesterday that the Inspector
of Nuisances had made arrangements for the repair of the meteorological
instruments."--_Local Paper._
Judging by our recent weather, quite the right man to look after it.
* * * * *
From a money-lender's circular:--
"Having been, perhaps, the richest nation in the world before the war,
and wealth being only comparative, it is our empirical duty to achieve
a like position again."
So that's why they are "trying it on."
* * * * *
"The news, says the Paris correspondent of _The Times_, in itself is
serious enough as showing the dangers of letting the Adriatic
settlement continue to be at the mercy of a coup de theatre or coup de
d'etat, whichever one may like to call it."--_Evening Paper._
We fancy the Paris correspondent of _The Times_ would prefer the former.
* * * * *
[Illustration: EVEN-HANDED JUSTICE
(_As dispensed by the LORD CHANCELLOR and a predecessor_).
INJURED PARTIES (_simultaneously_).
"OH! TO BE SMACKED BY THOSE WE LOVE DOTH WORK LIKE MADNESS IN THE BRAIN."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: FRENZIED BOXING FINANCE.
_Master of the Ceremonies._ "LOOK 'ERE! 'FORE MY MAN FIGHTS HE WANTS TWO
POTTIES, THREE GLASSIES AN' A BLOOD-ALLEY; AN' I WANTS A PACKET O' FAGS FOR
MESELF."]
* * * * *
THE BURIAL OF DUNDEE.
"Dundee is dead," said my wife, returning from her morning visit to the
kitchen.
"I am very sorry to hear it," I replied, laying down the newspaper on the
breakfast-table, at which I still lingered; and indeed I was sorry. Dundee
had been our household cat from the earliest days of our married life, from
the time when he was a tiny kitten the colour of marmalade, which had
earned him his name.
"Cook is very much upset," my wife continued.
"Her distress does her credit," I answered.
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