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Page 48
There were two large tears standing in his blue eyes, and two sprang
into Charlotte's to meet them. She clasped his hand tight, and after a
minute's silence said,--
"I have a lover, father; the best a girl ever had. Has he made any
difference between you and me? Only that I love you better. You are my
first love; the very first creature I remember, father. One summer day
you had me in your arms in the garden. I recollect looking at you and
knowing you. I think it was at that moment my soul found me."
"It was on a summer day, Charlotte? Eh? What?"
"And the garden was all roses, father; red with roses,--roses full of
scent. I can smell them yet. The sunshine, the roses, the sweet air,
your face,--I shall never, never forget that moment, father."
"Nor I. I was a very happy man in those days, Charlotte. Young and
happy, and full of hope. I thought my children were some new make of
children. I could not have believed then, that they would ever give me
a heartache, or have one themselves. And I had not a care. Money was
very easy with me then: now it is middling hard to bring buckle and
tongue together."
"When Sophia is married, we can begin and save a little. Mother and you
and I can be happy without extravagances."
"To be sure, we can; but the trouble is, my saving will be the losing of
all I have to send away. It is very hard, Charlotte, to do right at both
ends. Eh? What?"
After this conversation, spring came on rapidly, and it was not long ere
Charlotte managed to reach Up-Hill. She had not seen Ducie for several
weeks, and she was longing to hear something of Stephen. "But if ill had
come, ill would have cried out, and I would have heard tell;" she
thought, as she picked her way among the stones and _d�bris_ of the
winter storms. The country was yet bare; the trees had no leaves, no
nests, no secrets; but she could see the sap running into the branches,
making them dark red, scarlet, or yellow as rods of gold. Higher up, the
pines, always green, took her into their shade; into their calm spirit
of unchangeableness, their equal light, their keen aromatic air. Then
came the bare fell, and the raw north wind, and the low gray house,
stretching itself under the leafless, outspreading limbs of the
sycamores.
In the valley, there had been many wild flowers,--tufts of violets and
early primroses,--and even at Up-Hill the blackthorn's stiff boughs were
covered with tiny white buds, and here and there an open blossom. Ducie
was in the garden at work; and as Charlotte crossed the steps in its
stone wall she lifted her head, and saw her. Their meeting was free from
all demonstration; only a smile, and a word or two of welcome, and yet
how conscious of affection! How satisfied both women were! Ducie went on
with her task, and Charlotte stood by her side, and watched her drop the
brown seeds into the damp, rich earth; watched her clip the box-borders,
and loosen the soil about the springing crocus bulbs. Here and there
tufts of snowdrops were in full bloom,--white, frail bells, looking as
if they had known only cheerless hours and cold sunbeams, and wept and
shrank and feared through them.
As they went into the house, Ducie gathered a few; but at the
threshhold, Charlotte turned, and saw them in her hand. A little fear
and annoyance came into her face. "You a North-country woman, Ducie,"
she said, "and yet going to bring snowdrops across the doorstone? I
would not have believed such a thing of you. Leave them outside the
porch. Be said, now."
"It seems such a thing to think of flowers that way,--making them signs
of sorrow."
"You know what you said about your father and the
plant,--'Death-come-quickly.' I have heard snowdrops called 'flowers
from dead-men's dale.' Look at them. They are like a shrouded corpse.
They keep their heads always turned down to the grave. It is ill-luck to
bring them where there is life and love and warmth. It will do you no
harm to mind me; so be said, Ducie. Besides, I wouldn't pull them
anyway. There was little Grace Lewthwaite, she was always gathering the
poor, innocent flowers just to fling them on the dusty road to be
trodden and trampled to pieces; well, before she was twelve years old,
she faded away too. Perhaps even the prayers of mangled flowers may be
heard by the merciful Creator."
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