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Page 44
"Such wishes mean nothing."
"Nay, now, there is no need to think that kind words are false words.
There is a deal of good sometimes in a mouthful of words. Eh? What?"
"And yet, sir, as the queen of the crocodiles remarked, 'Words mend none
of the eggs that are broken.'"
"I know nothing about the queen of the crocodiles. But if you don't
believe in words, Julius, it is quite allowable at Christmas time to put
your good words into any substantial form you like. Nobody will doubt a
good wish that is father to a handsome gift; so, if you don't believe in
good words, you have a very reliable substitute in good deeds. I saw how
you looked when I said 'A merry Christmas' to old Simon Gills, and you
had to say the words after me. Very well; send old Simon a new plaid or
a pound of tobacco, and he'll believe in your wish, and you'll believe
in yourself. Eh? What?"
The days were full of such strained conversations on various topics.
Harry could say nothing which Julius did not politely challenge by some
doubtful inquiry. Julius felt in every word and action of Harry's the
authority of the heir, and the forbearance of a host tolerant to a
guest. He complained bitterly to Sophia of the position in which he was
constantly put. "Your father and brother have been examining timber, and
looking at the out-houses this morning, and I understand they were
discussing the building of a conservatory for Charlotte; but I was left
out of the conversation entirely. Is it fair, Sophia? You and I are the
next heirs, and just as likely to inherit as Harry. More so, I may say,
for a soldier's life is already sold, and Harry is reckless and
dissipated as well. I think I ought to have been consulted. I should not
be in favor of thinning the timber. I dare say it is done to pay Harry's
bills; and thus, you see, it may really be we who are made to suffer. I
don't think your father likes our marriage, dear one."
"But he gave his consent, beloved."
"I was very dissatisfied with his way of doing it. He might as well have
said, 'If it has to be, it has to be; and there is no use fretting
about it.' I may be wrong, but that is the impression his consent left
on my mind. And he was quite unreasonable when I alluded to money
matters. I would not have believed that your father was capable of being
so disagreeably haughty. Of course, I expected him to say something
about our rights, failing Harry's, and he treated them as if they did
not exist. Even when I introduced them in the most delicate way, he was
what I call downright rude. 'Julius,' he said, 'I will not discuss any
future that pre-supposes Harry's death.'"
"Father's sun rises and sets in Harry, and it was like him to speak that
way; he meant nothing against us. Father would always do right. What I
feel most is the refusal to give us our own apartments in Seat-Sandal.
We do not want to live here all the time, but we ought to be able to
feel that we have a certain home here."
"Yes, indeed. It is very important in my eyes to keep a footing in the
house. Possession is a kind of right. But never mind, Sophia. I have
always had an impression that this was my home. The first moment I
crossed the threshold I felt it. All its rooms were familiar to me.
People do not have such presentiments for nothing."
There is a class of lovers who find their supremest pleasure in
isolating themselves; who consider their own affairs an oasis of
delight, and make it desert all around them. Julius and Sophia belonged
to it. They really enjoyed the idea that they were being badly used.
They talked over the squire's injustice, Mrs. Sandal's indifference to
every one but Harry, and Charlotte's envy, until they had persuaded
themselves that they were the only respectable and intelligent members
of the family. Naturally Sophia's nature deteriorated under this
isolating process. She grew secretive and suspicious. Her love-affairs
assumed a proportion which put her in false relations to all the rest of
the world.
It was unfortunate that they had come to a crisis during Harry's visit,
for of course Harry occupied a large share of every one's interest. The
squire took the opportunity to talk over the affairs of the estate with
him, and this was not a kind of conversation they felt inclined to make
general. It took them long solitary walks to the different "folds," and
several times as far as Kendal together. "Am I one of the family, or am
I not?" Julius would ask Sophia on such occasions; and then the
discussion of this question separated them from it, sometimes for hours
at a time.
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