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Page 33
"I wish I could make up my mind as to whether he is outrageously handsome
or desperately ugly," remarked Helen of Troy. "He fascinates me, but
whether it is the fascination of liking or of horror I can't tell, and
it's quite important."
"Ladies," resumed the captain, his uneasiness increasing as he came to the
point, "I am but the agent of your respective husbands, _fianc�s_, and
other masculine guardians. The gentlemen who were previously the tenants
of this club-house have delegated to me the important, and I may add
highly agreeable, task of showing you the world. They have noted of late
years the growth of that feeling of unrest which is becoming every day
more and more conspicuous in feminine circles in all parts of the
universe--on the earth, where women are clamoring to vote, and to be
allowed to go out late at night without an escort; in Hades, where, as you
are no doubt aware, the management of the government has fallen almost
wholly into the hands of the Furies; and even in the halls of Jupiter
himself, where, I am credibly informed, Juno has been taking private
lessons in the art of hurling thunderbolts--information which the
extraordinary quality of recent electrical storms on the earth would seem
to confirm. Thunderbolts of late years have been cast hither and yon in a
most erratic fashion, striking where they were least expected, as those of
you who keep in touch with the outer world must be fully aware. Now,
actuated by their usual broad and liberal motives, the men of Hades wish
to meet the views of you ladies to just that extent that your views are
based upon a wise selection, in turn based upon experience, and they have
come to me and in so many words have said, 'Mr. Kidd, we wish the women of
Hades to see the world. We want them to be satisfied. We do not like this
constantly increasing spirit of unrest. We, who have seen all the life
that we care to see, do not ourselves feel equal to the task of showing
them about. We will pay you liberally if you will take our House-boat,
which they have always been anxious to enter, and personally conduct our
beloved ones to Paris, London, and elsewhere. Let them see as much of life
as they can stand. Accord them every privilege. Spare no expense; only
bring them back again to us safe and sound.' These were their words,
ladies. I asked them why they didn't come along themselves, saying that
even if they were tired of it all, they should make some personal
sacrifice to your comfort; and they answered, reasonably and well, that
they would be only too glad to do so, but that they feared they might
unconsciously seem to exert a repressing influence upon you. 'We want them
to feel absolutely free, Captain Kidd,' said they, 'and if we are along
they may not feel so.' The answer was convincing, ladies, and I accepted
the commission."
"But we knew nothing of all this," interposed Elizabeth. "The subject was
not broached to us by our husbands, brothers, _fianc�s_, or fathers. My
brother, Sir Walter Raleigh--"
Cleopatra chuckled. "Brother! Brother's good," she said.
"Well, that's what he is," retorted Elizabeth, quickly. "I promised to be
a sister to him, and I'm going to keep my word. That's the kind of a queen
I am. I was about to remark," Elizabeth added, turning to the captain,
"that my brother, Sir Walter Raleigh, never even hinted at any such plan,
and usually he asked my advice in matters of so great importance."
"That is easily accounted for, madame," retorted Kidd. "Sir Walter
intended this as a little surprise for you, that is all. The arrangements
were all placed in his hands, and it was he who bound us all to secrecy.
None of the ladies were to be informed of it."
"It does not sound altogether plausible," interposed Portia. "If you
ladies do not object, I should like to cross-examine this--ah--gentleman."
Kidd paled visibly. He was not prepared for any such trial; however, he
put as good a face on the matter as he could, and announced his
willingness to answer any questions that he might be asked.
[Illustration: CAPTAIN KIDD CONSENTS TO BE CROSS-EXAMINED BY PORTIA]
"Shall we put him under oath?" asked Cleopatra.
"As you please, ladies," said the pirate. "A pirate's word is as good as
his bond; but I'll take an oath if you choose--a half-dozen of 'em, if
need be."
"I fancy we can get along without that," said Portia. "Now, Captain Kidd,
who first proposed this plan?"
"Socrates," said Kidd, unblushingly, with a sly glance at Xanthippe.
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