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Page 22
"Poor dear!" said the matronly Mrs. Noah, sympathetically. "I know exactly
how you feel. I have been there myself. The fourth day out I and my whole
family were in the same condition, except that Noah, my husband, was so
very far gone that I could not afford to yield. I nursed him for six days
before he got his sea-legs on, and then succumbed myself."
"But," gasped Ophelia, "that doesn't help me--"
"It did my husband," said Mrs. Noah. "When he heard that the boys were
sea-sick too, he actually laughed and began to get better right away.
There is really only one cure for the _mal de mer_, and that is the fun of
knowing that somebody else is suffering too. If some of you ladies would
kindly yield to the seductions of the sea, I think we could get this poor
girl on her feet in an instant."
Unfortunately for poor Ophelia, there was no immediate response to this
appeal, and the unhappy young woman was forced to suffer in solitude.
"We have no time for untimely diversions of this sort," snapped Xanthippe,
with a scornful glance at the suffering Ophelia, who, having retired to a
comfortable lounge at an end of the room, was evidently improving. "I have
no sympathy with this habit some of my sex seem to have acquired of
succumbing to an immediate sensation of this nature."
"I hope to be pardoned for interrupting," said Mrs. Noah, with a great
deal of firmness, "but I wish Mrs. Socrates to understand that it is
rather early in the voyage for her to lay down any such broad principle as
that, and for her own sake to-morrow, I think it would be well if she
withdrew the sentiment. There are certain things about a sea-voyage that
are more or less beyond the control of man or woman, and any one who
chides that poor suffering child on yonder sofa ought to be more confident
than Mrs. Socrates can possibly be that within an hour she will not be as
badly off. People who live in glass houses should not throw dice."
"I shall never yield to anything so undignified as seasickness, let me
tell you that," retorted Xanthippe. "Furthermore, the proverb is not as
the lady has quoted it. 'People who live in glass houses should not throw
stones' is the proper version."
"I was not quoting," returned Mrs. Noah, calmly. "When I said that people
who live in glass houses should not throw dice, I meant precisely what I
said. People who live in glass houses should not take chances. In assuming
with such vainglorious positiveness that she will not be seasick, the lady
who has just spoken is giving tremendous odds, as the boys used to say on
the Ark when we gathered about the table at night and began to make small
wagers on the day's run."
"I think we had better suspend this discussion," suggested Cleopatra. "It
is of no immediate interest to any one but Ophelia, and I fancy she does
not care to dwell upon it at any great length. It is more important that
we should decide upon our future course of action. In the first place, the
question is who these people up on deck are. If they are the members of
the club, we are all right. They will give us our scare, and land us
safely again at the pier. In that event it is our womanly duty to manifest
no concern, and to seem to be aware of nothing unusual in the proceeding.
It would never do to let them think that their joke has been a good one.
If, on the other hand, as I fear, we are the victims of some horde of
ruffians, who have pounced upon us unawares, and are going into the
business of abduction on a wholesale basis, we must meet treachery with
treachery, strategy with strategy. I, for one, am perfectly willing to
make every man on board walk the plank, having confidence in the
seawomanship of Mrs. Noah and her ability to steer us into port."
"I am quite in accord with these views," put in Madame R�camier, "and I
move you, Mrs. President, that we organize a series of subcommittees--one
on treachery, with Lucretia Borgia and Delilah as members; one on
strategy, consisting of Portia and Queen Elizabeth; one on navigation,
headed by Mrs. Noah; with a final subcommittee on reconnoitre, with
Cassandra to look forward, and Mrs. Lot to look aft--all of these
subordinated to a central committee of safety headed by Cleopatra and
Calpurnia. The rest of us can then commit ourselves and our interests
unreservedly to these ladies, and proceed to enjoy ourselves without
thought of the morrow."
"I second the motion," said Ophelia, "with the amendment that Madame
R�camier be appointed chair-lady of another subcommittee, on
entertainment."
The amendment was accepted, and the motion put. It was carried with an
enthusiastic aye, and the organization was complete.
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