|
Main
- books.jibble.org
My Books
- IRC Hacks
Misc. Articles
- Meaning of Jibble
- M4 Su Doku
- Computer Scrapbooking
- Setting up Java
- Bootable Java
- Cookies in Java
- Dynamic Graphs
- Social Shakespeare
External Links
- Paul Mutton
- Jibble Photo Gallery
- Jibble Forums
- Google Landmarks
- Jibble Shop
- Free Books
- Intershot Ltd
|
books.jibble.org
Previous Page
| Next Page
Page 18
"Admiral Abeuchapeta, Sir Henry," interposed Kidd, fearing a further
outbreak of hostilities--"Admiral Abeuchapeta was the terror of the seas
in the seventh century, and what he undertook to do he did, and his
piratical enterprises were carried on on a scale of magnificence which is
without parallel off the comic-opera stage. He never went forth without at
least seventy galleys and a hundred other vessels."
Abeuchapeta drew himself up proudly.
"Six-ninety-eight was my great year," he said.
"That's what I thought," said Morgan. "That is to say, you got your ideas
of women twelve hundred years ago, and the ladies have changed somewhat
since that time. I have great respect for you, sir, as a ruffian. I have
no doubt that as a ruffian you are a complete success, but when it comes
to 'feminology' you are sailing in unknown waters. The study of women, my
dear Abeuchadnezzar--"
"Peta," retorted Abeuchapeta, irritably.
"I stand corrected. The study of women, my dear Peter," said Morgan, with
a wink at Conrad, which fortunately the seventh-century pirate did not
see, else there would have been an open break--"the study of women is more
difficult than that of astronomy; there may be two stars alike, but all
women are unique. Because she was this, that, or the other thing in your
day does not prove that she is any one of those things in our day--in
fact, it proves the contrary. Why, I venture even to say that no
individual woman is alike."
"That's rather a hazy thought," said Kidd, scratching his head in a
puzzled sort of way.
"I mean that she's different from herself at different times," said
Morgan. "What is it the poet called her?--'an infinite variety show,' or
something of that sort; a perpetual vaudeville--a continuous performance,
as it were, from twelve to twelve."
"Morgan is right, admiral!" put in Conrad the corsair, acting temporarily
as bo'sun. "The times are sadly changed, and woman is no longer what she
was. She is hardly what she is, much less what she was. The Roman Gyn�ceum
would be an impossibility to-day. You might as well expect Delilah to open
a barbershop on board this boat as ask any of these advanced females
below-stairs to sew buttons on a pirate's uniform after a fray, or to keep
the fringe on his epaulets curled. They're no longer sewing-machines--they
are Keeley motors for mystery and perpetual motion. Women have views
now--they are no longer content to be looked at merely; they must see for
themselves; and the more they see, the more they wish to domesticate man
and emancipate woman. It's my private opinion that if we are to get along
with them at all the best thing to do is to let 'em alone. I have always
found I was better off in the abstract, and if this question is going to
be settled in a purely democratic fashion by submitting it to a vote, I'll
vote for any measure which involves leaving them strictly to themselves.
They're nothing but a lot of ghosts anyhow, like ourselves, and we can
pretend we don't see them."
"If that could be, it would be excellent," said Morgan; "but it is
impossible. For a pirate of the Byronic order, my dear Conrad, you are
strangely unversed in the ways of the sex which cheers but not inebriates.
We can no more ignore their presence upon this boat than we can expect
whales to spout kerosene. In the first place, it would be excessively
impolite of us to cut them--to decline to speak to them if they should
address us. We may be pirates, ruffians, cutthroats, but I hope we shall
never forget that we are gentlemen."
"The whole situation is rather contrary to etiquette, don't you think?"
suggested Conrad. "There's nobody to introduce us, and I can't really see
how we can do otherwise than ignore them. I certainly am not going to
stand on deck and make eyes at them, to try and pick up an acquaintance
with them, even if I am of a Byronic strain."
"You forget," said Kidd, "two essential features of the situation. These
women are at present--or shortly will be, when they realize their
situation--in distress, and a true gentleman may always fly to the rescue
of a distressed female; and, the second point, we shall soon be on the
seas, and I understand that on the fashionable transatlantic lines it is
now considered _de rigueur_ to speak to anybody you choose to. The
introduction business isn't going to stand in my way."
"Well, may I ask," put in Abeuchapeta, "just what it is that is worrying
you? You said something about feeding them, and dressing them, and keeping
them in bonnets. I fancy there's fish enough in the sea to feed 'em; and
as for their gowns and hats, they can make 'em themselves. Every woman is
a milliner at heart."
Previous Page
| Next Page
|
|