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Page 15
The card was passed about, and all the ladies were much astonished--and
naturally so, for it ran this wise:
--------------------------------------------------
| NOTICE TO HOSTESSES. |
| |
| Owing to the very great, constantly growing, |
| and at times vexatious demands upon his time |
| socially, |
| |
| HERR WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART |
| |
| takes this method of announcing to his |
| friends that on and after January 1, 1897, |
| his terms for functions will be as follows: |
| |
| Marks. |
| Dinners with conversation on the |
| Theory of Music ................. 500 |
| Dinners with conversation on the |
| Theory of Music, illustrated .... 750 |
| Dinners without any conversation .. 300 |
| Receptions, public, with music .... 1000 |
| " private, " ...... 750 |
| Encores (single) .................. 100 |
| Three encores for ................. 150 |
| Autographs ........................ 10 |
| |
| Positively no Invitations for Five-o'Clock |
| Teas or Morning Musicales considered. |
--------------------------------------------------
"Well, I declare!" tittered Elizabeth, as she read. "Isn't that
extraordinary? He's got the three-name craze, too!"
"It's perfectly ridiculous," said Cleopatra. "But it's fairer than Artemus
Ward's plan. Mozart gives notice of his intentions to charge you; but with
Ward it's different. He comes, and afterwards sends a bill for his fun.
Why, only last week I got a 'quarterly statement' from him showing a
charge against me of thirty-eight dollars for humorous remarks made to my
guests at a little chafing-dish party I gave in honor of Balzac, and,
worst of all, he had marked it 'Please remit.' Even Antony, when he wrote
a sonnet to my eyebrow, wouldn't let me have it until he had heard whether
or not Boswell wanted it for publication in the _Gossip_. With Rubens
giving chalk-talks for pay, Phidias doing 'Five-minute Masterpieces in
Putty' for suburban lyceums, and all the illustrious in other lines
turning their genius to account through the entertainment bureaus, it's
impossible to have a salon now."
"You are indeed right," said Madame R�camier, sadly. "Those were palmy
days when genius was satisfied with chicken salad and lemonade. I shall
never forget those nights when the wit and wisdom of all time
were--ah--were on tap at my house, if I may so speak, at a cost to me of
lights and supper. Now the only people who will come for nothing are those
we used to think of paying to stay away. Boswell is always ready, but you
can't run a salon on Boswell."
"Well," said Portia, "I sincerely hope that you won't give up the
functions altogether, because I have always found them most delightful. It
is still possible to have lights and supper."
"I have a plan for next winter," said Madame R�camier, "but I suppose I
shall be accused of going into the commercial side of it if I adopt it.
The plan is, briefly, to incorporate my salon. That's an idea worthy of an
American, I admit; but if I don't do it I'll have to give it up entirely,
which, as you intimate, would be too bad. An incorporated salon, however,
would be a grand thing, if only because it would perpetuate the salon.
'The R�camier Salon (Limited)' would be a most excellent title, and,
suitably capitalized, would enable us to pay our lions sufficiently.
Private enterprise is powerless under modern conditions. It's as much as I
can afford to pay for a dinner, without running up an expense account for
guests; and unless we get up a salon trust, as it were, the whole affair
must go to the wall."
[Illustration: MADAME R�CAMIER HAS A PLAN]
"How would you make it pay?" asked Portia. "I can't see where your
dividends would come from."
"That is simple enough," said Madame R�camier. "We could put up a large
reception-hall with a portion of our capital, and advertise a series of
nights--say one a week throughout the season. These would be Warriors'
Night, Story-tellers' Night, Poets' Night, Chafing-dish Night under the
charge of Brillat-Savarin, and so on. It would be understood that on these
particular evenings the most interesting people in certain lines would be
present, and would mix with outsiders, who should be admitted only on
payment of a certain sum of money. The commonplace inhabitants of this
country could thus meet the truly great; and if I know them well, as I
think I do, they'll pay readily for the privilege. The obscure love to rub
up against the famous here as well as they do on earth."
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