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Page 9
If we interpret aright his conduct, this dangerous trial is over, and we
have escaped the perplexities that his kindness and determination threw
about us.
_13th._--Last night we received a letter from Henry Dickinson, stating
that the President, though sympathizing with those in our situation,
felt bound by the Conscription Act, and felt liberty, in view of his
oath to execute the laws, to do no more than detail us from active
service to hospital duty, or to the charge of the coloured refugees. For
more than a week have we lain here, refusing to engage in hospital
service; shall we retrace the steps of the past week? Or shall we go
South as overseers of the blacks on the confiscated estates of the
rebels, to act under military commanders and to report to such? What
would become of our testimony and our determination to preserve
ourselves clear of the guilt of this war?
P.S. We have written back to Henry Dickinson that we cannot purchase
life at cost of peace of soul.
_14th._--We have been exceeding sorrowful since receiving advice--as we
must call it--from H.D. to enter the hospital service or some similar
situation. We did not look for that from him. It is not what our Friends
sent us out for; nor is it what we came for. We shall feel desolate and
dreary in our position, unless supported and cheered by the words of
those who have at heart our best interests more than regard for our
personal welfare. We walk as we feel guided by Best Wisdom. Oh, may we
run and not err in the high path of Holiness.
_16th._--Yesterday a son-in-law of N.B. of Lynn came to see us. He was
going to get passes for one or two of the Lynn Friends, that they might
come over to see us today. He informed us that the sentiment of the
Friends hereabouts was that we might enter the hospital without
compromising our principles; and he produced a letter from W.W. to S.B.
to the same effect. W.W. expressed his opinion that we might do so
without doing it in lieu of other service. How can we evade a fact?
Does not the government both demand and accept it as in lieu of other
service? Oh, the cruelest blow of all comes from our friends.
_17th._--Although this trial was brought upon us by our friends, their
intentions were well meant. Their regard for our personal welfare and
safety too much absorbs the zeal they should possess for the maintenance
of the principle of the peaceableness of our Master's kingdom. An
unfaithfulness to this through meekness and timidity seems
manifest,--too great a desire to avoid suffering at some sacrifice of
principle, perhaps,--too little of placing of Faith and confidence upon
the Rock of Eternal Truth.
Our friends at home, with W.D. at their head, support us; and yesterday,
at the opportune moment, just as we were most distressed by the
solicitations of our visitors, kind and cheering words of Truth were
sent us through dear C.M.P., whose love rushes out to us warm and living
and just from an overflowing fountain.
I must record another work of kind attention shown us by Major Gould.
Before we embarked, he came to us for a friendly visit. As we passed him
on our way to the wharf he bade us Farewell and expressed a hope we
should not have so hard a time as we feared. And after we were aboard
the steamer, as the result of his interference on our behalf, we must
believe, we were singled out from the midst of the prisoners, among whom
we had been placed previous to coming aboard, and allowed the liberty of
the vessel. By this are we saved much suffering, as the other prisoners
were kept under close guard in a corner on the outside of the boat.
FOREST CITY UP THE POTOMAC. _22nd._ [9th month.]--It was near noon,
yesterday, when we turned in from sea between Cape Charles and Henry;
and, running thence down across the mouth of Chesapeake Bay, alongside
Old Point Comfort, dropped anchor off Fortress Monroe. The scene around
us was one of beauty, though many of its adornments were the results and
means of wrong. The sunshine was brighter, the verdure greener to our
eyes weary of the sea, and the calm was milder and more grateful that we
had so long tossed in the storm.
The anchor was soon drawn up again and the _Forest City_ steamed up the
James River toward Newport News, and turning to the left between the
low, pine-grown banks, passed Norfolk to leave the New Hampshire
detachment at Portsmouth.
Coming back to Fortress Monroe, some freight was landed; and in the calm
clear light of the moon, we swung away from shore and dropping down the
mouth of the river, rounded Old Point, and, going up the Chesapeake,
entered the Potomac in the night-time.
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