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Page 1
CONTENTS
PAGE
CHAPTER I
I ENLIST AND AM BILLETED 13
CHAPTER II
RATIONS AND SICK PARADE 23
CHAPTER III
PICKETS AND SPECIAL LEAVE 36
CHAPTER IV
OFFICERS AND RIFLES 48
CHAPTER V
THE COFFEE-SHOP AND WANKIN 60
CHAPTER VI
THE NIGHT SIDE OF SOLDIERING 71
CHAPTER VII
DIVISIONAL EXERCISE AND MIMIC WARFARE 85
CHAPTER VIII
THE GENERAL INSPECTION AND THE EVERLASTING WAITING 99
CHAPTER IX
READY TO GO--THE BATTALION MOVES 111
CHAPTER I
I ENLIST AND AM BILLETED
What the psychological processes were that led to my enlisting in
"Kitchener's Army" need not be inquired into. Few men could explain
why they enlisted, and if they attempted they might only prove that
they had done as a politician said the electorate does, the right
thing from the wrong motive. There is a story told of an incident that
occurred in Flanders, which shows clearly the view held in certain
quarters. The Honourable Artillery Company were relieving some
regulars in the trenches when the following dialogue ensued between a
typical Tommy Atkins and an H.A.C. private:
T.A.: "Oo are you?"
H.A.C.: "We're the H.A.C."
T.A.: "Gentlemen, ain't yer?"
H.A.C.: "Oh well, in a way I suppose--"
T.A.: "'Ow many are there of yer?"
H.A.C.: "About eight hundred."
T.A.: "An' they say yer volunteered!"
H.A.C.: "Yes, we did."
T.A.: (With conviction as he gathers together his kit). "Blimey, yer
must be mad!"
For curiosity's sake I asked some of my mates to give me their reasons
for enlisting. One particular friend of mine, a good-humoured Cockney,
grinned sheepishly as he replied confidentially, "Well, matey, I done
it to get away from my old gal's jore--now you've got it!" Another
recruit, a pale, intelligent youth, who knew Nietzsche by heart,
glanced at me coldly as he answered, "I enlisted because I am an
Englishman." Other replies were equally unilluminating and I desisted,
remembering that the Germans despise us because we are devoid of
military enthusiasm.
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