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Page 43
"So much for kind words, my son," said his father, on noticing the great
change that had taken place. "Never forget, throughout your whole life,
that kind words are far more potent than harsh ones. I have found them so,
and you have already proved the truth of what I say."
And so will every one who tries them. Make the experiment, young friends,
and you will find it to succeed in every case.
PASSING FOR MORE THAN ONE IS WORTH.
The other day I had occasion to pay a man half a dollar, and gave him a
dollar bank note, for which he gave me in exchange two silver pieces that I
supposed to be worth twenty-five cents each. One of the pieces, however, I
found afterward would only go for sixteen or seventeen cents. It was not a
quarter of a dollar, though it looked very much like one. It had passed for
some eight or nine cents more than it was worth. Well, that was an affair
of very little consequence, you say. True enough, but I am going to take
hold of something else with this handle, that may be of more consequence.
There are a great many folks in the world who, like this pistareen, pass
themselves off, or try to pass themselves off, for more than their real
value. It is bad business, though; and they always feel _cheap_ when
they get found out, as they are sure to be in the end.
Did you ever see a dandy under a full press of canvas, as the sailors say,
showing himself off on one of the principal streets of a city--on Broadway,
for instance, in New York? He was trying to pass himself off for more than
his worth. And no doubt he succeeded, too, in some instances. By the way,
do you know what definition Webster gives of a dandy in his large
dictionary? It is worth remembering. Suppose we turn to it. "A dandy," says
he, "is one who dresses himself like a doll, and carries his character on
his back." It is a most capital definition; but the silly fellow will pass
for something else where he is not known. He will make a great swell, and
some people will believe he is a gentleman. Indeed, it would not be strange
if he should pass himself off, one of these days, upon some young lady who
is quite ignorant of this kind of currency, as an Italian count, or,
perhaps, the marquis of this or the duke of that. There is no telling. But
if she takes him for a cent more than Webster rates him at, she gets
cheated, depend upon it. He is not worth the clothes on his back. He has to
cross the street sometimes, to get rid of being dunned by his tailor; and
he has been two or three hours trying to find a barber who will trust him.
He's nothing but a pistareen, and hardly that.
Some people pass themselves off for being very learned, when they are as
ignorant as a horse-block. But, oh! such mistakes as they make sometimes;
it is enough to set one into a fit of laughter, only to think of some of
them. I know a miss, who tries to pass herself off for a great reader, when
the truth is, she has only dipped up a spoon-full, here and there, from a
score or two of authors, and has not the slightest idea about the merits of
any of them. Some one came up with her nicely the other night, at a party.
He had suspicions, I suppose, that she was trying to pass for too much; at
all events, he asked her a great many roundabout questions, which she was
obliged to answer, and in doing so she let out the secret. Every body saw
what sort of a coin she was, at once.
What fools some folks make of themselves, by attempting to pass for more
than they are worth, in the matter of dollars and cents. It is said, that
in the city of New York there are a good many poor fellows that can
scarcely get enough money to appear in a respectable suit of clothes, who
will buy a dinner in some cheap eating-house for sixpence, and then pick
their teeth on the door-steps of the Astor House, to make people think they
have dined there. And that is not any worse than some would-be genteel
people manage when the warm season comes on, every year. They close their
front window blinds, and steal into and out of their houses like thieves,
or dogs that have just had a flogging, so that their neighbors will think
they have gone to Saratoga, or Rockaway, or some other fashionable summer
retreat. They take a good deal of pains to pass for so much more than they
are worth--do they not, little friend? They only go for pistareens, though,
where they are known.
One sometimes comes across a public speaker--a lawyer--possibly a
preacher--who displays his eloquence by using all sorts of long and
out-of-the-way words. A man may be listening ever so quietly and
innocently, and the first thing he knows, down comes a word about his ears
half as long as his arm almost, and half as heavy as a mallet. That is what
the orator calls a _knock-down_ argument; and when he wishes to be
particularly convincing and eloquent, he throws at you such brick-bats and
bars of iron as incomprehensibility--epexegetically--anthropopathically--so
fast that you have scarcely a chance to dodge one before another comes
whizzing along. Of course, you are confounded with the man's assault and
battery, and if you are a thinking person, perhaps fall to musing how such
monstrous words can come out of a man's throat whole, without choking him,
or themselves splitting to pieces. When I hear a public speaker going on in
that way, I generally think that the poor fellow is making up in big words
what he lacks in brains, and if I could whisper a small word or two in his
ear, I should be apt to say, "That will never do, sir. You can't pass
yourself off for a great scholar with this clap-trap. You are nothing but a
pistareen, and rather smooth at that. You are, indeed. Those big words that
we have to bend up and twist around to get into our coat-pockets, will not
go for sense. So pray be quiet, and not attempt to pass for any more than
you are honestly worth, which is little enough, to be sure."
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