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Page 106
"It's just part of the coin the world has to be paid in for its
conventions," Billy quickly retorted. "_Don't_ let it worry you like
that--in a day no one will think to question you."
"I know--but--it's having the memory always there. Always knowing
that there is something I can't be honest about--something secret
and dreadful----"
She was staring unseeingly out the window, her soft lips twitching.
"The Egyptians were a most sensible people," said Billy. "They drew
up a list of commandments against the forty-two cardinal sins, and
one of them was this, 'Thou shalt not consume thy heart.' That is a
religious law against regret--vain, unprofitable, morbid,
devastating regret. And you must take that law for your own."
"Th--thank you." The low voice was suspiciously wavery. "I--you see,
I haven't had time to think about it till just now--we've been going
so fast----"
"And the best thing that could have happened. And now that you have
the time to think, you mustn't think _weakly_. It was just a
nightmare. And it's over."
"Just a nightmare.... And it's over," she repeated. Her eyes lifted
to Billy's in a look of ineffable softness and wonder. "It's
over--because _you_ came."
"I want you to forget that." The young man spoke with cold curtness
in his effort to combat the wild temptation of that moment. "I only
did what anyone else in my place would have done--to have
accomplished it is all the gratitude I want. Please don't speak of
it to me again. You must forget about it."
"Forget--as if I could help being grateful as long as I live!"
"But I don't _want_ you to be grateful. It--it's obnoxious to me!"
She was as blankly hurt as a slapped child. Then she looked away, a
little pulse in her throat beating fast. "Then I won't--try to thank
you," she answered in a very small voice, and stared harder and
harder out the window.
Billy felt that he had accomplished a tremendous stride. "A feeling
of obligation kills a friendship," he told her didactically, "and I
want you to be really my friend."
"I am." Her voice was distinct, though queerly lack-luster. And she
did not look at him again.
He went on: "The Evershams will be in on the boat about seven. From
the station I'll take you straight to the boat, where your stateroom
is surely being kept for you. Then to-morrow your trunks will arrive
from Cook's, and by the time you are through resting, you will be
ready to sally out and meet the world.... I hope my own trunk will
make its appearance, too," he added. "I telegraphed the hotel to
pack my things and send them on."
She made no comment on the obvious haste with which he had left
Cairo. She said slowly, "I want to do a little mathematics now. What
is the shocking sum I owe you?"
He shut his lips in an obstinate line. After a moment she added, "I
can't take _that_, you know."
It struck him as a trifle ludicrous that dollars were so important
among all the rest, but unwillingly enough he understood.
"Won't you just let it stand as it is?" he said under his breath.
"Let me have the whole thing--please."
"I can't."
"You mean you won't?"
"I can't," she repeated inflexibly, and then, with a childish flash,
"Since you dislike me to feel grateful--I should think you would be
glad to let me reduce the debt."
"All right." He spoke gruffly. "Then you owe me what you spent just
now and what your railroad ticket cost. Not a cent more. For what
went before I am absolutely responsible, and I decline to let you
pay _my_ debts."
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