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Page 86
"Oh, of course, if you say so, but I should be better satisfied if she
denied it herself," said Mrs. Portheris with suavity. "My information
was so very exact."
I had slumbered again, but it did not avail me. I heard the American
mail dispersing itself about the deck in all directions as the Senator
rose, strode towards my chair, and shook me much more vigorously than
there was any necessity for.
"Here's Aunt Caroline," he said, "wanting us to believe that you and
Dicky Dod are engaged--you two that have quarrelled as naturally as
brother and sister ever since you were born. I guess you can tell her
whether it's very likely!"
I yawned, to gain time, but the widest yawn will not cover more than two
seconds.
"What an extraordinary question!" I said. It sounds weak, but that was
the way one felt.
"Don't prevaricate, Mamie, love," said Mrs. Portheris sternly.
"I'm not--I don't. But n-nothing of the kind is announced, is it?" I was
growing nervous under the Senatorial eye.
"Nothing of the kind _exists_," said poppa, the Doge all over, except
his umbrella. "Does it?"
"Why no," I said. "Dicky and I aren't engaged. But we have an
understanding."
I was extremely sorry. Mrs. Portheris was so triumphant, and poppa
allowed his irritation to get so much the better of him.
"Oh," he said, "you've got an understanding! Well, you've been too
intelligent, darned if you haven't!" The Senator pulled his beard in his
most uncompromising manner. "Now you can understand something more. I'm
not going to have it. You haven't got my consent and you're not going to
get it."
"But, my dear nephew, the match is so suitable in every respect! Surely
you would not stand in the way of a daughter's happiness when both
character and position--position in Chicago, of course, but still--are
assured!"
Poppa paused, uncertain for an instant whether to turn his wrath upon
his aunt, and that, of course, was my opportunity to plead with my angry
parent. But the knowledge that the hopes which poppa was reducing to
dust and ashes were fervently fixed on a floral hat and a yellow bun
over which he had no control, on the other side of the ship, overcame
me, and I looked at Bellagio to hide my emotions instead, in a way which
they might interpret as obstinate, if they liked.
"Aunt Caroline," said the Senator firmly, "I'll thank you to keep your
spoon out of the preserves. My daughter knows where I have given her
hand, and that's the direction she's going with her feet. Mary, I may as
well inform you that the details of your wedding are being arranged in
Chicago this minute. It will take place within three weeks of our
arrival, and it won't be any slump. But Richard Dod might as well be
told right now that he won't be in it, unless in the capacity of usher.
As I don't contemplate breaking up this party and making things
disagreeable all round, you'll have to tell him yourself. We sail from
Liverpool"--poppa looked at his watch--"precisely one week and four
hours from now, and if Mr. Dod has not agreed to the conditions I
mention by that time we will leave him upon the shore. That's all I have
to say, and between now and then I don't expect you or anybody else to
have the nerve to mention the matter to me again."
After that it was impossible to wink at poppa, or in any way to give him
the assurance that my regard for him was unimpaired. There are things
that can't be passed over with a smile in one's poppa without doing him
harm, and this was one of them. It was a regular manifesto, and I felt
exactly like Lord Salisbury. I couldn't take him seriously, and yet I
had to tell him to come on, if he wanted to, and devote his spare time
to learning the language of diplomacy. So I merely bowed with what
magnificence I could command and filed it, so to speak; and walked to
the other side of the deck, leaving poppa to his conscience and momma
and his Aunt Caroline. I left him with confidence, not knowing which
would give him the worst time. Mrs. Portheris began it, before I was out
of earshot. "For an American parent," she said blandly, "it strikes me,
Joshua, that you are a little severe."
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