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Page 49
It was no easy matter to oblige her cousin to understand what she
meant; but at last the declaration that she had refused her old lover
because she had placed her affections upon Edwin Lechmere, whom she
was endeavouring to "entrap," was not to be mistaken; and the country
girl was altogether unprepared for the burst of indignant feeling,
mingled with much bitterness, which repelled the untruth. A strong fit
of hysterics, into which Mary Charles worked herself, was terminated
by a scene of the most painful kind, her father being upbraided by
her mother with "loving other people's children better than his own,"
while the curate himself knelt by the side of his betrothed, assuring
her of his unaltered affection. From such a scene Miss Adams hastened
with a throbbing brow and a bursting heart. She had no one to counsel
or console her; no one to whom she could apply for aid. For the first
time since she had experienced her uncle's tenderness, she felt she
had been the means of disturbing his domestic peace; the knowledge of
the burden she and hers were considered, weighed her to the earth; and
in a paroxysm of anguish she fell on her knees, exclaiming, "Oh, why
are the dependent born into the world! Father, father, why did you
leave us, whom you so loved, to such a fate!" And then she reproached
herself for having uttered a word reflecting on his memory. One of the
every-day occurrences of life--so common as to be hardly observed--is
to find really kind, good-natured people not "weary of well-doing."
"Oh, really I was worn out with so-and-so; they are so decidedly
unfortunate that it is impossible to help them," is a general excuse
for deserting those whose continuing misfortunes ought to render them
greater objects of sympathy.
Mr. Charles Adams was, as has been shown in our little narrative, a
kind-hearted man. Estranged as his brother and himself had been for
a number of years, he had done much to forward, and still more to
protect, his children. At first, this was a pleasure; but somehow his
"benevolence," and "kindness," and "generosity," had been so talked
about, so eulogised, and he had been so seriously inconvenienced
by the waywardness of his nephews, the thoughtless pride of his
sister-in-law, the helplessness of his younger nieces, as to feel
seriously oppressed by his responsibility. And now the one who
had never given him aught but pleasure, seemed, according to his
daughter's representations, to be the cause of increased sorrow, the
destroyer of his dear child's happiness. What to do he could not tell.
His daughter, wrought upon by her own jealousy, had evinced, under
its influence, so much temper she had never displayed before, that it
seemed more than likely the cherished match would be broken off. His
high-minded niece saved him any farther anxiety as far as she was
concerned. She sent for and convinced him fully and entirely of her
total freedom from the base design imputed to her. "Was it likely,"
she said, "that I should reject the man I love lest I should drag him
into poverty, and plunge at once with one I do not care for into the
abyss I dread? This is the common sense view of the case; but there
is yet another. Is it to be borne that I would seek to rob _your_
child of her happiness? The supposition is an insult too gross to be
endured. I will leave my mother to-morrow. An old school-fellow, older
and more fortunate than myself, wished me to educate her little girl.
I had one or two strong objections to living in her house; but the
desire to be independent and away has overcome them." She then, with
many tears, entreated her uncle still to protect her mother; urged how
she had been sorely tried; and communicated fears, she had reason to
believe were too well founded, that her eldest brother, feeling the
reverse more than he could bear, had deserted from his regiment.
Charles Adams was deeply moved by the nobleness of his niece, and
reproved his daughter more harshly than he had ever done before, for
the feebleness that created so strong and unjust a passion. This had
the contrary effect to what he had hoped for: she did not hesitate to
say that her cousin had endeavoured to rob her both of the affection
of her lover and her father. The injured cousin left Repton bowed
beneath an accumulation of troubles, not one of which was of her
own creating, not one of which she deserved; and all springing from
the unproviding nature of him who, had he been asked the question,
would have declared himself ready to sacrifice his own life for the
advantage of that daughter, now compelled to work for her own bread.
To trace the career of Mary Adams in her new calling, would be to
repeat what I have said before. The more refined, the more informed
the governess, the more she suffers. Being with one whom she had known
in better days, made it even more hard to bend; yet she did her duty,
and _that_ is one of the highest privileges a woman can enjoy.
CHAPTER VI.
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