|
Main
- books.jibble.org
My Books
- IRC Hacks
Misc. Articles
- Meaning of Jibble
- M4 Su Doku
- Computer Scrapbooking
- Setting up Java
- Bootable Java
- Cookies in Java
- Dynamic Graphs
- Social Shakespeare
External Links
- Paul Mutton
- Jibble Photo Gallery
- Jibble Forums
- Google Landmarks
- Jibble Shop
- Free Books
- Intershot Ltd
|
books.jibble.org
Previous Page
| Next Page
Page 6
It will be seen, from these hurried remarks, that there is more truth
than Dr. Kitchiner was aware of in his apophthegm--that a clean skin may
be regarded as next in efficacy to a clear conscience. But the doctor
had but a very imperfect notion of the meaning of the words--clean
skin--his observation being not even skin-deep. A wash-hand basin--a bit
of soap--and a coarse towel--he thought would give a cockney on
Ludgate-hill a clean skin--just as many good people think that a Bible,
a prayer-book, and a long sermon can give a clear conscience to a
criminal in Newgate. The cause of the evil, in both cases, lies too deep
for tears. Millions of men and women pass through nature to eternity
clean-skinned and pious--with slight expense either in soap or sermons;
while millions more, with much week-day bodily scrubbing, and much
Sabbath spiritual sanctification, are held in bad odour here, while they
live, by those who happen to sit near them, and finally go out like the
snuff of a candle.--_Blackwoods Magazine_.
* * * * *
QUACKERY.
A short time since a soi-disant doctor sold water of the pool of
Bethesda, which was to cure all complaints, if taken at the time when
the angel visited the parent spring, on which occasion the doctor's
bottled water manifested, he said, its sympathy with its fount by its
perturbation. Hundreds purchased the Bethesda-water, and watched for
the commotion and the consequence, with the result to be expected. At
last one, less patient than the rest, went to the doctor, and complained
that though he had kept his eye constantly on the water for a whole
year, he had never yet discovered anything like the signs of an angel in
his bottle.
"That's extremely strange," exclaimed the doctor. "What sized bottle did
you buy, sir?"
Patient.--"A half-guinea-one, doctor."
Doctor.--"Oh, that accounts for it. The half-guinea bottles contain so
small a quantity of the invaluable Bethesda-water, that the agitation
is scarcely perceptible; but if you buy a five-guinea bottle, and watch
it well, you will in due season see the commotion quite plain,
sympathizing with that of the pool when visited by the angel."
The patient bought the five guinea bottle as advised, and kept a sharp
look out for the angel till the day of his death.
_London Magazine._
* * * * *
HANGING BY DESIRE.
Some few years ago, two fellows were observed by a patrol sitting on a
lamp-post in the New Road, and on closely watching them, he discovered
that one was tying up the other (who offered no resistance) by the neck.
The patrol interfered, to prevent such a strange kind of murder, and was
assailed by both, and pretty considerably beaten for his good offices.
The watchmen, however, poured in, and the parties were secured. On
examination the next morning, it appeared that the men had been
gambling; that one had lost all his money to the other, and had at last
proposed to stake his clothes. The winner demurred; observing, that he
could not strip his adversary naked, in the event of his losing. "Oh,"
replied the other, "do not give yourself any uneasiness about that. If I
lose, I shall be unable to live, and you shall hang me, and take my
clothes after I am dead; as I shall then, you know, have no occasion for
them." The proposed arrangement was assented to; and the fellow, having
lost, was quietly submitting to the terms of the treaty, when he was
interrupted by the patrol, whose impertinent interference he so angrily
resented.--_Ibid._
* * * * *
RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS.
Previous Page
| Next Page
|
|