Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, March 24, 1920. by Various


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Page 1

***

The ruins of Whitby Abbey, it is announced, are to be presented by
their owner to the nation. On the other hand, the report that Mr.
LLOYD GEORGE intends to present the ruins of the Liberal Party to
Manchester City is not confirmed.

***

The latest information is that the recent German revolution had to be
abandoned owing to the weather.

***

From a weekly paper article we gather that the trousers-crease will be
in its accustomed frontal position this year. It is unfortunate that
this announcement should have clashed with the attempted restoration
of the Monarchy in Berlin.

***

Hot Cross Buns will probably cost threepence this year. An economical
plan is for the householder to make his own hot cross and then get the
local confectioner to fit a bun to it.

***

"There will be no whisky in Scotland in the year 1925," says a
Prohibitionist speaker. He did not say whether there will be any
Scotsmen.

***

No arrangement has yet been made for the carrying on of the Food
Ministry, though it is said that one food profiteer has offered to buy
the place as a memento.

***

"All the great men are dead," states a London newspaper. This sly dig
at Mr. CHURCHILL'S robust health is surely in bad taste.

***

We are glad to hear that the strap-hanger who was summoned by a
fellow-passenger on the Underground Railway for refusing to remove his
foot from off the plaintiff's toes has now been acquitted by the jury.
It appears that he was able to prove that he was not in a position to
do so as his was not the top foot of the heap.

***

According to a trade journal the latest fashion in umbrellas is a
pigeon's head carved on the handle. This, we understand, is the first
step towards a really reliable homing umbrella.

***

The appearance of a hen blackbird without any trace of feathers on its
neck or back is reported by a Worcester ornithologist. The attempt
on the part of this bird to follow our present fashions is most
interesting.

***

So much difficulty is being experienced in deciding whose incendiary
bullet was the most effective, that it is thought possible that the
Government may arrange for the Zeppelin raids to be revived.

***

A society paper reports that a large number of millionaires are now
staying on the Riviera. It is not known where the other shareholders
of COATS'S are staying.

***

In order to influence the exchange a contemporary suggests that we
should sell our treasures to America. We understand that a cable to
New York asking what they are prepared to pay for Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD
remains unanswered.

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Fri 10th Jul 2020, 12:27