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Page 9
* * * * *
15. DHE FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPEL OV ORTHOGGRAPHY.
Such iz dhe system ov INGLISH ORTHOGGRAPHY, braught widhin dhe compas ov a
few pages, on dhe unfailing principel, hwich aught to' govvern evvery plan
ov litterary improovment: first, to' make no chainge dhat can rascionally
be avoided; and dhen to' make precisely evvery variacion, from vulgar
practice, dhat can be demonstrated indispensabel. Nor iz dhis aught else
dhan a completed minniature ov INGLISH PROPRIETY _ascertained in her
picture_: two quarto-vollumes graciously received by hiz prezzent Brittish
Madjesty, from dhe same umbel hands; at St. Jameses, in 1786.
DHE END.
* * * * *
THE ORTHOGRAPHIC RIDDLE.
PREFACE.
These emanations of the British Muse,
Where English thoughts could English dress refuse,
Were once presented to another press,
Though thence borne back, as hopeless of success.
What honest critic e'er could credit eligible,
Riddles to his researches unintelligible?
When ready caution guards the lit'rate realm,
Never shall foreign floods these isles o'erwhelm:
Orthography the mother-tongue shall give,
Ever, as every where, with Truth to live;
Truth, Reason, Beauty shall o'erspread the nation;
Shall solve the RIDDLE, with one contemplation.
The public monitor of truth,
Sworn enemy to what's uncouth,
With blockheads similarly spells,
(Orthography with pleasure tells)
That thus the force of ridicule
Should laugh the learned back to school.
What then should cause that laughter strange?
What should occasion gen'ral change?
Orthography the answer gives,
To satisfy whoever lives.
The honest will confess the pity,
Court, country, citadel with city;
That ancients, with the giddy young,
Should study still the Latin tongue;
Should leave to levity, to dolour,
The unproficient English scholar;
Should give the very stranger dread,
Of gibberish, that ne'er was read;
That ne'er was heard, without derision,
Eschewing ocular revision.
This one example well will prove,
Will lib'ral laughter doubtless move:
When Pedantry shall cease to swell,
Honour'd Humility will spell.
The beauty then, of British truth,
Resistless shall enamour youth;
Shall evidence th' asseveration,
Throughout th' etymologic nation;
That one poetic exhibition
Could, without lit'ral intuition,
Fill ev'ry literary article,
Though never spell one single particle:
Could faithfully the whole present,
Without[5] once shad'wing what were meant.
* * * * *
DHE SOLUCION OV DHE ORTHOGRAPPHIC RIDDEL.
PREFFACE.
Dheze emmanacions ov dhe Brittish Muze,
Hware Inglish thaughts cood Inglish dres refuze,
Wer wonce prezented to' anoddher pres,
Dho dhence bor'n bac az hopeles ov succes.
Hwat onnest crittic ehr cood creddit elligibel,
Riddels to' hiz reserches unintelligibel?
Hwen steddy caucion gards dhe litt'rate relm,
Nevver shal forrain fluds dheze iles o'rhwelm:
Orthoggraphy dhe moddher-tung shal guiv,
Evver, az evv'rihware, widh Truith to' liv;
Truith, Rezon, Buty shal o'rspred dhe nacion;
Shal solv dhe RIDDEL, widh won contemplacion.
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