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The Project Gutenberg EBook of The London-Bawd: With Her Character and Life
by Anonymous
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net
Title: The London-Bawd: With Her Character and Life
Discovering the Various and Subtle Intrigues of Lewd Women
Author: Anonymous
Release Date: May 23, 2005 [EBook #15883]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LONDON-BAWD: WITH HER ***
Produced by David Starner, Keith Edkins and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team.
THE
London-Bawd:
WITH HER
CHARACTER
AND
LIFE:
Discovering the
Various and Subtle
Intrigues
OF
Lewd Women
* * * * *
The Third Edition.
LONDON, Printed for _John Gwillim_ near _Sun Yard_, in _Bishopsgate-Steet_,
1705. Price 3 _s_
* * * * *
THE
London-Bawd.
* * * * *
CHAP. I.
_Her Character: Or what she is._
A BAWD
Is the Refuse of an Old Whore, who having been burnt herself, does like
Charcoal help to set greener Wood on Fire; She is one of Natures Errata's,
and a true Daughter of _Eve_, who having first undone herself, tempts
others to the same Destruction. She has formerly been one of _Sampson's
Foxes_, and has carried so much fire in her Tail, as has burnt all those
that have had to do with her: But the mark being out of her Mouth, and she
grown past her own Labour, yet being a well-wisher to the Mathematicks, she
sets up for a Procurer of fresh Goods for her old Customers. And so careful
she is to help Men to good Ware, that she seldom puts a Comodity into their
hands, but what has been try'd before; and having always prov'd well,
thinks she can Warrant 'em the better. She's a great Preserver of
Maiden-heads; for tho' she Exposes 'em to every new Comer, she takes care
that they shall never be lost: And tho' never so many get it, yet none
carries it away, but she still has it ready for the next Customers. She
thinks no Oracle like that of Fryar _Bacon_'s brazen-Head, and is very
forward to tell you that _Time Was_ when the best Gentlemen wou'd have
prefer'd her before any Lady in the Land: But when She repeats _Time's
Past_, She makes a Wicked Brazen Face, and even weeps in the Cup, to allay
the Heat of her Brandy. She's a great Enemy to all Enclosures, for whatever
she has, she makes it common. She hates _Forty One_ as much as an old
Cavalier, for at that Age she was forc'd to leave off Whoring and turn
Bawd: Her Teeth are all fallen out; at which her Nose and her Chin are so
much concern'd, that they intend to meet about it in a little time, and
make up the difference. She's the most like a _Medlar_ of any thing, for
she's never _ripe_ till she's _rotten_. She is never without store of
_Hackney Jades_, which she will let _any one Ride_, that will _pay for
their hire_. She is the very Magazine of Taciturnity; for whatever she
sees, she says nothing; it being a standing Maxim with her, _That they that
cannot make Sport, shou'd spoil none_. She has Learnt so much Philosophy as
to know that the Moon is a dark-Body, which makes her like it much better
then the Sun, being more Suitable for her Business: Besides she's still
_changing Quarters_, now Waxing and then Waining, like her: Sometimes i'th'
Full, and flush'd with store of Customers; and at another time i'th' Wane,
and beating Hemp in _Bridewel_. She has been formerly a Pretender to
Musick, which makes her such a great Practitioner in _Pick-Song_, but She
is most expert at a _Horn-Pipe_. She understands _Means_ a little, but
_Trebles_ very well, and is her self a perfect _Base_. Tho' she lives after
the Flesh, yet all is Fish that comes to her Net: For she is such a cunning
Angler, that she don't fear getting her Living by Hook or by Crook. She has
Baits ready for all Fish, and seldom fails to catch some: Of a
_Countrey-Gentleman_ she makes a _Cods-head_; and of _a rich Citizens Son_
a _Gudgeon_; _a Swordsman in Scarlet_, she takes for _Lobster_; and a
severe _Justice of Peace_, she looks on as a _Crab_: Her _Poor Customers_,
are like _Sprats_, and _Pilchards_, who are more considerable for their
number than they are for their Value; whilst the _Punk_ is her _Salt Eel_,
and the _Pander_ her _Shark_ and her _Swordfish_. Her Charity is very
great, for she Entertains all Comers, and not only finds 'em _Beds_, but
_Bed-fellows_ too, of that Sex which shall be most agreeable to them; Which
is a Conveniency a man may go to twenty _Honest-Houses_ and not Meet with.
She brings more _Wicked Wretches_ to Repentance than many a good
_Preacher_; for, let 'em be as stubborn as they will, yet she'll leave them
such a _Twinging Remembrance_ in their _Joynts_, that their very _Bones_
shall ake, but she'll make them repent that e'er they had to do with her.
And to some Notorious Wretches, she'll fix such a visible _Mark_ in their
_Faces_, as shall make 'em the Derision and the Loathing of all People; and
so bring 'em to Repentance _with a Pox to 'em_. Yet she has very little
_Conscience_, for she makes nothing of Selling _One Commodity_ to _Twenty
Customers_: And for all she cheats them at that rate, she don't fear
loosing their Custom. She's often _broke_, and as often _sets up again_;
which She does without any great charge; for three strong Water-Bottles,
Two ounces of Tobacco, and a Couple of Countrey Wenches, is as much as will
set her up at any Time. Her Breath stinks worse than a Bear-garden, her
Furniture consists of a Bed, a Plaister-Box and a Looking Glass: and a Pimp
to bring in Customers. She sits continually at a Rack Rent, especially if
her Landlord bears office in the Parish, because he may screen her from the
Cart and _Bridewel_. She hath only this one shew of Temperance, that let
any Gentleman send for Ten Pottles of Wine in her House, he shall have but
Ten Quarts; and if he want it that way, let him pay for't and take it out
in Stew'd flesh. She has an Excellent Art in Transforming Persons, and can
easily turn a Sempstress into a Waiting-Gentlewoman: But there is a kind of
Infection that attends it, for it brings them to the falling Sickness. The
Justices Clerk is her very good Friend, and often makes her Peace with the
Justice of _Quorum_; for which when he makes her a Visit, She always help
him to a fresh Bit, which She lets him have upon her Word; and assures him
she won't put a Bad Commodity into his Hand. There is nothing daunts her so
much as the Approach of _Shrove-Tuesday_; for she's more afraid of the Mob,
than a Debtor of a Serjeant, Or a Bayliff in an Inns of Court. He that hath
past under her hath past the Equinoctial; and he that escapes her, has
Escap'd a Rock which Thousands have been split upon to their Destruction.
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