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Page 71
Next comes mamma's turn. Perhaps she has weakly yielded on some occasion
to young hopeful's entreaties that he might come down to the kitchen
with her to order dinner. By the perverse luck that waits on poor
mortals, there happened on that very day to be a passage of arms between
mistress and cook. Rapidly forgotten by the principals, it has been
carefully stored up in the memory of the witness, who will subsequently
bestow an immense amount of misguided energy in teaching a young sister
to reproduce, with appropriate gesture and intonation, "Cook, I desire
that you will not speak to me in that way. I am extremely displeased
with you, and I shall acquaint your master with your conduct."
Small sisters, by the way, may be made to serve a variety of useful
purposes of a dramatic or semi-dramatic nature. They may safely be cast
for the unpleasant or uninteresting characters of the nursery drama.
They form convenient targets for the development of their brothers'
marksmanship; and they make excellent horses for their brothers to
drive, and, it may be added, for their brothers to flog.
When the subjects afforded by its immediate surroundings are exhausted,
Theatre Royal Nursery turns to fiction or history for materials. And
here, too, the perversity of childhood is displayed. It is not the
virtuous, the benevolent, the amiable, that your child delights to
imitate, but rather the tyrant and the destroyer, the ogre who subsists
in rude plenty on the peasantry of the neighborhood, or the dragon who
is restricted by taste or convention to one young lady _per diem_, till
the national stock is exhausted, or the inevitable knight turns up to
supply the proper dramatic finale.
The varied incident of the "Pilgrim's Progress," its romance, and the
weird fascination of its goblins and monsters, make it a favorite source
of dramatic adaptations. And here, if any man doubt the doctrine of
original sin, let him note the fierce competition among the youngsters
for the part of Apollyon, and put his doubts from him. With a little
care a great many scenes may be selected from this inimitable work.
Christian's entry into the haven of refuge in the early part of his
pilgrimage can be effectively reproduced in the nursery. It will be
remembered that the approach was commanded by a castle of Beelzebub's,
from which pilgrims were assailed by a shower of arrows. It is this that
gives the episode its charm. One child is of course obliged to sacrifice
his inclinations and personate Christian. The rest eagerly take service
under Beelzebub and become the persecuting garrison. The "properties"
required are of the simplest kind. The nursery sofa or settee--a
position of great natural strength--is further fortified with chairs and
other furniture to represent the stronghold of the enemy. Christian
should be equipped with a wide-awake hat, a stick, and a great-coat
(papa's will do, or, better still, a visitor's), with a stool wrapped up
in a towel and slung over his shoulders to do duty as the bundle of
sins. He is then made to totter along to a "practical" gate (two chairs
are the right thing) at the far end of the room, while the hosts of
darkness hurl boots, balls, and other suitable missiles at him from the
sofa. Sometimes the original is faithfully copied, and bows and arrows
are employed; but this is, on the whole, a mistake: there is some chance
of Christian being really injured, and this, though of course no
objection in itself, is apt to provoke a summary interference by the
authorities. Christian's passage through the Valley of the Shadow of
Death is another favorite piece. Here, too, there are great
opportunities for an enterprising demon. It will be necessary, however,
for the success of the performance that Christian should abandon his
strictly defensive attitude in the narrative and lay about him with
sufficient energy to produce a general scrimmage.
"Robinson Crusoe" is a treasure-house of situations, some of which gain
a piquancy from the dash of the diabolical with which Crusoe's terrors
invested them. Even where this is wanting there is plenty of bloodshed
to take its place, and a happy combination of horrors is supplied by the
cannibal feast which Crusoe interrupts. The youngest member of the
troupe is, on the whole, the best victim; but, failing this, any pet
animal sufficiently lazy or good-tempered to endure the process makes a
tolerable substitute. "Masterman Ready," "The Swiss Family Robinson,"
and other cognate works, together with appropriate selections from
sacred and profane history, are adapted with a shamelessness which would
make a dramatic author's blood run cold.
Lions, tigers, and wild beasts generally are common objects of nursery
imitation, either from a genuine admiration of their qualities or from
the mysterious craving for locomotion on all-fours with which children
seem possessed. This branch of the art, however, struggles under some
difficulties. It has, of course, to contend with the undisguised
opposition of authority. This is hardly a matter for marvel, and perhaps
not even a matter for regret. A prudential regard for the knees of
puerile knickerbockers and the corresponding region of feminine frocks
may explain a good deal of parental discouragement in the matter; and
there is little public sympathy to counteract this, for it is felt that
the total decay of these mimes would not be a serious loss either to
dramatic art or to peace and quietness.
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