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Page 31
I must not here forget to state, that, though only eighteen, Helen had
experienced other troubles than those which now bowed her down; and
they were such as the youthful mind ever feels most keenly. She had,
with the sanction of her parents, been engaged to Edward Cranston; he
was himself considered unexceptionable, and the match was thought a
very eligible one; he was five years Helen's senior, and had just
entered the practice of the law, with every prospect of being called
to the bar. He was first attracted by her beauty and afterwards won by
her amiable and pleasing manner. Idolized by his own family, where she
first met him, and unremitting in his attention to herself, she soon
felt attached, and, confidingly, plighted her troth, and all seemed
the _couleur de rose_. His stay was some time prolonged, but he had,
at length, to leave; it was a hard struggle to him to part from her;
and he did not do so without many promises of fidelity. To see him
leave her, was the first trial she knew. The pang was severe; but his
devotion was such, that she doubted not his faith, and most
indignantly would she have repudiated the idea that his love for her
could lessen; but his disposition was naturally volatile, and once
away from her, and within the blandishments of other beauty, he could
not resist its power. He became enslaved by the fascinations of
another, and poor Helen was almost forgotten. Painfully did the
conviction force itself upon her, as his letters became first, less
frequent, and then less affectionate. Love is generally quicksighted;
but Helen's own heart was so pure, and so devoted, that it was hard to
believe she was no longer beloved. Hers was, indeed, a delicate
position. She noticed the alteration in Edward Cranston's style of
writing, and fancied it proceeded from any cause but diminution of
regard for her; that, she thought, could not be possible; but soon,
alas! did she learn, the (to her) sad truth, that her affianced lover
was devoted to another, a most beautiful girl, residing in the same
town, and it was said, they were engaged, and too true were the
reports, which the following letter confirmed.
"MY DEAR HELEN,
"How shall I write, or where find words to express all I desire to
say. Shall I commence by hoping that absence has led you to regard
me with less affection, or shall I honestly say, I no longer love
you as you deserve to be loved, and that I am no longer worthy your
affection. It costs me much to say this; but you would not wish me
to deceive you; you would not wish me to go perjured from the altar
with you. I most earnestly hope, nay, I feel sure, you will not
regret that I have discovered this mistake ere too late for the
peace of both. I have opened my heart and most bitterly do I regret
its delinquency; but our affections are involuntary, and not under
our control. Till the last two months, I believed mine to be
inviolably yours. I know I am betrothed to you, and, if you require
it, am bound, in honour, to fulfil my engagement; but I will ask
you, ought I to do so, feeling I no longer love you as I ought? Is
it not more really honourable to lay myself open and leave the
matter to your decision? If we are united, three individuals are
miserable for life; but it shall rest with you, oh, my excellent
Helen; forgive and pity
"Your still affectionate,
"EDWARD."
What a blow was this to her warm and sanguine heart! What a return to
love, so trustingly bestowed! She uttered not one reproach in her
reply, but merely released him from every promise, and wished him
every happiness.
She had, from the tenor of all his late letters, had a presentiment of
coming evil; but she could hardly, till that cruel one, just given to
the reader, realize its full extent; but the young do, and must feel
keenly in these matters,--females in particular,--and, if
right-minded, their all is embarked, and, if founded on esteem, the
affections are not given by halves; and I firmly believe the author,
who says, "Man is the creature of ambition and interest; his nature
leads him forth into the struggle and bustle of the world. Love is but
the embellishment of his early life, or a song, piped between the
intervals, But a woman's whole life is a history of her affections;
the heart is _her world_; it is there, her ambition strives for
empire; it is there, her avarice seeks for treasures. She sends forth
her sympathies on adventures, and embarks her all in the traffic of
affection, and, if shipwrecked, unless she be strongly supported by
religious principles, it is a complete bankruptcy of her happiness."
But let the young remember, there is often in these disappointments,
so hard to meet, the most wholesome and salutary chastenings. How very
many happy wives can look back with thankfulness and gratitude, to the
all directing hand of providence, that, by a blasting of their
seemingly fair prospects, they are directed to happier fate, than
their own inexperience would lead them. How often does their Heavenly
Father manifest his care, by leading them from the shoals and rocks of
misery, which are oft times hidden, not only from themselves, but even
from the anxious eye of parental vigilance.
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