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Page 48
"The soldier in France! God bring him home well and glorious!"
How would it be for her other boy then, the boy who was not in France?
Unphrased, a thought flashed, "I hope, I do hope Hughie will be very
lame tonight."
The little dog slipped from her and barked in remonstrance as she threw
out her hands and stood up. Old Mavourneen pulled herself to her feet,
too, a huge, beautiful beast, and the woman stooped and put her arm
lovingly about the furry neck. "Mavourneen, you know a lot. You know our
Brock's away." At the name the big dog whined and looked up anxious,
inquiring. "And you know--do you know, dear dog, that Hughie ought to
go? Do you? Mavourneen, it's like the prayer-book says, 'The burden of
it is intolerable.' I can't bear to lose him, and I can't, O God! I
can't bear to keep him." She straightened. "As you say, Mavourneen,
it's time to dress for dinner."
The birthday party went better than one could have hoped. Nobody broke
down at Brock's name; everybody exulted in the splendid episode of his
heroism, months back, which had won him the war cross. The letter from
Jim Colledge and his own birthday letter, garrulous and gay, were read.
Brock had known well that the day would be hard to get through and had
made that letter out of brutal cheerfulness. Yet every one felt his
longing to be at the celebration, missed for the first time in his life,
pulsing through the words. Young Hugh read it and made it sweet with a
lovely devotion to and pride in his brother. A heart of stone could not
have resisted Hugh that night. And then the party was over, and the
woman and her man, seeing each other seldom now, talked over things for
an hour. After, through her open door, she saw a bar of light under the
door of the den, Brock's and Hugh's den.
"Hughie," she spoke, and on the instant the dark panel flashed into
light.
"Come in, Mummy, I've been waiting to talk to you."
"Waiting, my lamb?"
Hugh pushed her, as a boy shoves a sister, into the end of the sofa.
There was a wood fire on the hearth in front of her, for the June
evening was cool, and luxurious Hugh liked a fire. A reading lamp was
lighted above Brock's deep chair, and there were papers on the floor by
it, and more low lights. There were magazines about, and etchings on the
walls, and bits of university plunder, and the glow of rugs and of
books. It was as fascinating a place as there was in all the beautiful
house. In the midst of the bright peace Hugh stood haggard.
"Hughie! What is it?"
"Mother," he whispered, "help me!"
"With my last drop of blood, Hugh."
"I can't go on--alone--mother." His eyes were wild, and his words
labored into utterance. "I--I don't know what to do--mother."
"The war, Hughie?"
"Of course! What else is there?" he flung at her.
"But your knee?"
"Oh, Mummy, you know as well as I that my knee is well enough. Dad knows
it, too. The way he looks at me--or dodges looking! Mummy--I've got to
tell you--you'll have to know--and maybe you'll stop loving me. I'm--"
He threw out his arms with a gesture of despair. "I'm--afraid to go."
With that he was on his knees beside her, and his arms gripped her, and
his head was hidden in her lap. For a long minute there was only
silence, and the woman held the young head tight.
Hugh lifted his face and stared from blurred eyes. "A man might better
be dead than a coward--you're thinking that? That's it." A sob stopped
his voice, the young, dear voice. His face, drawn into lines of age,
hurt her unbearably. She caught him against her and hid the beloved,
impossible face.
"Hugh--I--judging you--I? Why, Hughie, I _love_ you--I only love you. I
don't stand off and think, when it's you and Brock. I'm inside your
hearts, feeling it with you. I don't know if it's good or bad. It's--my
own. Coward--Hughie! I don't think such things of my darling."
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