Bunker Bean by Harry Leon Wilson


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Page 74

"Why didn't J.B. here assert himself then?"

"'Fraid he'd get mad's 'ell an' quit me," said Breede. "Only st'nogfer
ever found gimme minute's peace. Dunno why--talk aw ri'. He un'stan's
me; res' drive me 'sane."

"Plug's pulled, anyway," commented the quiet director. "Only thing to do
is haul in what we can on a rising market. God knows where she'll stop."

"Pound her down," said the largest director sagely.

"Any pounding now will pound her up."

"Hold off and let it die down."

"Only make it worse. No use; we've got to cut that money up."

"Seven hundred shares, did he say?" asked the large director. "Very
pretty indeed! J.B., I'll only give you one guess whether he quits his
job or not."

"Thasso!" admitted Breede dejectedly.

"He'll show up all right in the morning, mark me," said the largest
director, regaining confidence.

"Sneaking snake in the grass," muttered the oldest director, yet without
his wonted vim.

"I'll telephone to McCurdy, right in the next block here," continued the
largest director. "Might as well have this chap watched to-night and
keep tight to him to-morrow until he shows up. We may find somebody's
behind him."

"'S my idea," said Breede, "some one b'ind him."

"Grinning little ape!" remarked the oldest director bitterly.

To Bean in the outer office came the facetious boy.

"Telephone for Perfesser Bunker Hill Monument," he said, but spoiled it
by laughing himself. It was extempore and had caught him unawares. The
harried Bean fled to the telephone booth.

"I wanted to tell you," began the flapper, "not to eat anything out of
cans unless I just perfectly have it on my pure-food list. They poison
people, but the dearest grocer gave me a list of all the safe things,
made up by a regular committee that tells how much poison each thing has
in it, so you can know right off, or alcohol either. Now, remember! Oh,
yes, what was I going to say? Granny says the first glamour soon fades,
but after that you just perfectly settle down to solid companionship.
And oh, yes, I want you to let me just perfectly have my own way about
those hangings for the drawing-room, because you see I know, and, oh, I
had something else. No matter. Won't I be glad when the deal is adjusted
in the interests of all concerned, as poor old Pops says. Why don't you
tell me something? I'm just perfectly waiting to hear."

"Uh, of course, of course; you're just perfectly a slinking gazelle. Ha,
ha, ha!" answered Bean, laughing at his own jest after the manner of the
office-boy.

He was back making a feeble effort to finish the last of Breede's
letters. He glanced mechanically at his notes. Above that routine work
he had so many things to think about. He'd fixed Tully for good. Tully
wouldn't try that "by the way" and "not impossible" stuff with _him_ any
more. And that little old man--perfumery not used since the Chicago
fire, or had he said the Mexican War? No matter. And talked to Breede
about heifers. But there was the big-faced brute, speaking pretty
seriously. Let him go free _to-night_! State's prison offence, maybe!
Might be in jail this time to-morrow. Would the flapper telephone to him
there? Send him unpoisoned canned food? Would he be disgraced?
Breede--directors--glamour wearing off--slinking gazelles with yellow
whiskers--rotten perfumery. So rushed the turbulent flood of his mind.
But the letter was finished at last.

Two days later a certain traffic manager of lines west of Chicago read a
paragraph in this letter many times:

"The cramped conditions of this terminal have been of course appreciably
relieved by the completion of the westside cut-off. Nevertheless our
traffic has not yet attained its maximum, and new problems of congestion
will arise next year. I am engaged to that perfectly flapper daughter of
yours, and we are going to marry each other when she gets perfectly good
and ready. Better not fuss any. Let Julia do the fussing. To meet this
emergency I dare say it will come to four-tracking the old main line
over the entire division. It will cost high, but we must have a
first-class freight-carrier if we are to get the business."

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Sat 17th Jan 2026, 23:13