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Page 4
[Illustration: _Mrs. Gusher_. "OH, GOOD-BYE, SIR JOHN. SO SORRY NOT TO
HAVE FOUND YOUR MOST _CHARMING_ WIFE AT HOME."
_Sir John_. "THANKS--THANKS! BY THE WAY, LET ME ASSURE YOU I'VE ONLY
GOT _ONE_,--AND--"
(_Thinks that the remainder of the sentence is "better understood than
expressed."_)]
* * * * *
"A ROYAL LINE" (IN THE BILLS).--The successor to _King Henry the
Eighth_ (at the Lyceum) will be _King Lear the First. "Le Roi est
mort! Vive le Roi_!"
* * * * *
OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.
The Baron pauses in the midst of his varied literary and philosophic
studies to look into No. 46, Vol. iv., Part ii., of _Our Celebrities_,
a publication which has been admirably conducted by the late and the
present Count ASTROR�G, which is the title, when he is at home, of the
eminent photographer and proprietor of the Walery-Gallery. First comes
life-like portrait of the stern Sir EDWARD W. WATKIN, on whose brow
Time, apparently, writes no wrinkles, though Sir EDWARD could put most
of us up to a few. Nor, strange to say, are there any lines on his
countenance, probably because he has so many other lines, existing and
contemplated, in his eye.
But 'tis not alone thy inky cloak, good Sir EDWARD, that attracts the
Baron, nor is it the business-like profile of THOMAS DE GREY, sixth
Lord Walsingham, Chairman of the Ensilage Committee, that gives the
Baron matter for special admiration; but it is the perfectly charming
portrait of "'DAISY PLESS' H.S.H. the Princess HENRY OF PLESS," which
rivets the Baron's attention, and causes him to exclaim, "She _is_
pretty, Pless her!" Miss CORNWALLIS WEST, but now a DAISY, now a
Princess, came up as a flower at Ruthin Castle, and "in 1891 Prince
HENRY OF PLESS," says the brief narrative written by A. BULL (an
example of "a bull and no mistake") "wooed and won the beauty of the
Season,"--lucky 'ARRY PLESS!--and then Prince 'ARRY took his bride to
Furstenstein, in Silesia, "a fine schloss, with beautiful gardens and
terraces,"--in short, "a Pleasaunce." Count ASTROR�G may do, as he
has done, many excellent photographic portraits, but this one will be
uncommonly "hard to beat," and King of Photographers as he seems to
be, it is not every day that he has so charming a subject as Princess
DAISY presented to him. Receive, Count ASTROR�G-WALERY, of the
Walery-Gallery, without any raillery, the congratulations most sincere
of the
BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.
* * * * *
"THE PLAYERS ARE COME!"
_First Player_ (_who has had a run of ill-luck_). I'm regularly
haunted by the recollection of my losses at Baccarat.
_Second Player_. Quite Shakspearian! "Banco's" Ghost.
* * * * *
[Illustration: A PRIZE.
_Little Spiffkins._ "DON'T YOU THINK ONE MIGHT GET UP A DANCE HERE
SOME EVENING?"
_Young Brown._ "NOT GIRLS ENOUGH, MY BOY!"
_Little Spiffkins._ "NOT GIRLS ENOUGH! WHY, _I_'VE GOT TO KEEP 'EM OFF
ME WITH A STICK!"]
* * * * *
CONVERSATIONAL HINTS FOR YOUNG SHOOTERS.
LUNCH (_continued_).--How delightful it is to awaken interest in the
female breast, to make the heart of lovely woman go pit-pat, as her
eyes read the words one's pen has written. Even in drawing-rooms and
boudoirs, it seems, bright eyes have marked these attempts to teach
a correct conversational manner to those who engage in game-shooting.
Here is one letter of the hundreds that _Mr. Punch_ has one by one
pressed to his gallant lips with an emotion that might, perhaps, not
have been expected from one of his years and discretion. But how shall
time or caution prevail against universal love? The flame burns on
with an unquenchable ardour. Beautiful beings, the _Punch_ of your
affections is true to you all. He takes you in a lump and loves you.
He takes you singly and adores you, passionately but paternally. Here,
therefore, is the letter:--
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