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Page 2
I think my Publisher should be censured for going out golfing and taking
his fingers off the public pulse.
Don't you?
NOAH LOTT.
Chestnut Hill
June 12th, 1905
* * * * *
[Illustration: "A--A flush fool."]
A man can drop a lot of dough trying to pick up money.
A fool and his money are soon spotted.
An accommodation liar soon learns to run like an express.
A guilty conscience needs no accuser if you catch him at it.
* * * * *
###
A: An adjective, commonly called the indefinite article because
the higher the fewer.
###
* * * * *
A BAS. A French word meaning "S'cat!"
[Illustration]
A SHARP. A musical term which cannot be explained here, because the
Musical Union might get sore.
A FLAT. A people coop. Seven rooms and a landlord, with hot and cold gas
and running servants. A _flat_ is the poor relation of an apartment.
ABROAD. A place where people go to be cured of visiting foreign lands.
ABSCOND. To duck with the dough. From The Latin word _absconditto_,
meaning to grab the long-green and hike for the Bad Lands.
ABSINTHE. The national headache of the French. A jag-builder which is
mostly wormwood and bad dreams. A liquid substance which when applied to
a "holdover" revivifies it and enables its owner to sit up and notice
the bar-tender.
ABSTAIN. The stepladder which leads up to the water wagon.
ABSTEMIOUS. Having an aisle seat on the water wagon.
ACROBAT. A fellow of infinite chest.
ACCUMULATE. To collect or bring together. For example: "He borrowed two
dollars from his wife, whereupon he went out and _accumulated_ a
bunch of boozerine." (Carlyle's Heroes and Hero Worship.)
[Illustration]
A THING OF BEAUTY. A joy forever until we get used to it.
ALCOHOL. The forefather of a hold-over. Boozerine, in the raw state.
From the Latin words _alco_ and _haul_, meaning "he is soused
to the booby hatches, _haul_ him to the _alcove_." (See Lord
Macaulay's Jags of Ancient Rome.)
AMBITION. The only disease which laziness can cure.
AMUSEMENT. The hard work a man does on the golf links to give himself an
appetite for sausage links.
ANGEL. Something behind a show--and always something behind.
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